dear chace

my dear sweet chace,

today, marks your 20th month of life. while i write you letters on the 14th of every month, i hope you will some day understand that not a day goes by that i am so thankful for you, your life and the honor of being your parent.  there are some days that i am tired, that i am short on patience or i am not fully present, i apologize for that, this does not mean that i  love you any less. i really try to enjoy and savor each moment with you. it is one of your brothers lessons, that life is really short and that we can not take it for granted. we must live each moment to the fullest. by doing this, i am the best mama that i can be and i honor both you and your older brother.

you have settled into school and our new routine. you are thriving in the montessori environment and are soaking up every bit of your time there. next week we will attend the "children teach parent" night and i can not wait to see what you teach us.

your vocabulary expands daily. it is so much fun to see what words you discover each day. this week you started saying "pappous". this makes your grandfather very happy and you take such delight in saying that word. sometimes you break out in song,"pappous, pappous, pappous."

you have started eating at the dining room table. this please you and makes you feel very grown up. however, getting you to actually eat remains a daily challenge. your dad and i continue to spend many hours reading to you. if you are not outside, you prefer to be reading. your favorite books are the richard scary books which i attribute to your burgeoning vocabulary. you are particularly fond of the fox and raccoon in these books.

as you rapidly approach two, your will seems to strengthen. you can be very hard headed. in your defense, you come by it naturally. i do not know anyone who is more hard headed than your father and i. this has proved to create the ultimate battle of wills. at this stage of the game i can usually distract you and you forget what you were so focused on. i imagine that this will not work for ever and it is a little unfair. i am sure you catch on soon to my parental trick.

thankfully, my trickery does not have to be employed often. most of the time you are such a joy to be around. you warm my heart, make me laugh, make me proud, keep me in a constant state of amazement and we have a grand time spending time together.

i love you so much.

xoxo
mama

dear chace

 my dear sweet chace,

6 months from today you will be two years old. i can not believe that you are now 18 months old. the last year and a half has flown by, too fast. i am trying to stay in the present, to cherish every moment with you, but i get ahead of myself sometimes. in those moments you are going to college, following your passions, getting married, and having children of your own.  it goes by in a blink. i don't want to miss any of it. so i remind myself to stay present, in today, in the moment.

on this day that marks your 18th month of life. we played outside, you followed your dad while he mowed the lawn, you and i sat on the kitchen floor and ate blueberries and you and your dad are building a house out of legos as i type.

you are talking in paragraphs. unfortunately, i do not have the translation guide, so you get very frustrated at me. i have this feeling that one day when i ask you a question, you are simply going to respond like it's no big deal. you have figured out how to run. you take great pleasure in running around the yard, falling on the grass and laughing. there is nothing better for your dad and i to witness.

we leave in week to head to santa fe to see yaya and pappous. your dad will meet us there. we will also head to beaumont for the weekend for you to meet your aunt ashley, who you are in part named after. when we return from our trip, you will start montessori. i am sure that i will cry that first day, but know that montessori will be so good for you and is exactly where you need to be. our routine will shift a little, but for the most part will stay the same.

when your brother died, i did not know if  my heart was capable of loving so completely again. you have changed that, i knew from the day you were born, that my heart could love again. the last 18 months have taught me that the heart has the capacity to expand and love an inconceivable amount. i love you more than words can express. you are my greatest gift, my greatest joy and my greatest joy.

love you always
mama

dear chace

my dear sweet chace!

happy 17 months!

you look so grown up in this picture as you watch the birds on the beach. you could have watched those birds for hours. i know we gave them a good workout. you followed them until i told you needed to let the birds rest. you love birds. i think this is your connection to your brother; on some level you know we called him "birdie" and that whenever we see a bird we say, "there's your brother."

you had a great time at the beach. you were fascinated with the shells and sand. you were particularly fond of the hermit crab that cole caught. you loved hanging out with your new friends. they were so great about sharing their toys and books with you. cole was very curious as to why you did and did not do certain things. it was so cute. i am sure you will be lifelong friends.

as usual, you were a great traveler. your dad and i are so thankful. i know i tell you that alot; but, someday you will understand what a gift it is that you travel well.

you are currently taking swim lessons. you are learning to love the water again. today, we went underwater and you were not even phased by the act. you are very good at kicking your feet. whenever the instructor comes over, you tilt your head and smile. as soon as she moves on, you do whatever is was she was trying to get you to do. we have another week of lessons.

you talk non-stop. i do not know what you are saying. but i know you are telling me something.  i can not wait until we speak the same language. you continue to love books. your favorite these days is  "the very hungry caterpillar." we read it over and over and over and over.

your favorite part of the day is when your dad gets home. the two of you spend time in the yard, checking out the plants, pulling weeds, driving the lawn mower and watering the yard. your face lights up when you see his truck pull into the driveway.

you continue to bring us joy. you are so sweet. there is nothing better than one of your snuggles.  every day is adventure that i look forward taking with you.

love you

mama

dear chace

my dear sweet chace,

happy 16 months! boy, i am i glad that is months, not years. particularly since you have a new affinity for all things with steering wheels. you love to stand in your daddy's truck and pretend that you are driving. the look of pleasure on your face makes our hearts soar. i take delight in this a little bit more than your father, because your second cousin ned and i used to spend hours driving in hid dad's mg. i think its funny now, that our parents let us play in the garage for that long, especially in the texas heat. i suppose it kept us busy and occupied. we were always going on a trip to new york.  i always think of ned when i watch you attack the steering wheel.

you are going through a bit of a phase, that is what i am calling it. you have become a tree monkey. you cling to me for dear life. not all the time, just when you are feeling insecure. i am not complaining. i will take it. the last two night in a row bath time has been tear free and i think that you actually enjoyed yourself. progress i tell you progress.

you have added "yes" to your vocabulary and can sign the word for "more." i am waiting for the day when you out of the blue answer one the many questions i pose to you throughout the day. you do seem to have a good understanding of what i am telling you. this morning i told to get the brown bear book off the bookshelf. you promptly went over the bookcase, grabbed it and brought it to me to read.  i will remember this when you are a teenager and pretend not to understand a word i am saying to you.

you are still my little vegetarian. it doesn't matter how i disguise the food you know if it is meat and spit it out. i even broke down and bought you chicken nuggets thinking you might eat them. not a chance. even dipped in ketchup you were revolted by them. watermelon is your favorite food. i happen to be a fan as well. i figure you will venture into the world of meat once you get hungry enough. but i am very happy that you love your fruits and vegetables.

this past month you and i took another trip. we went to santa fe to see yaya and pappous. you were a great traveler and we had such a good time. i love watching them interact with you. it is such a pure love that they have for you. it is not a love full of expectations. they adore you and the feeling is mutual i know. you have also spent some time with your cousins here. you like their house because they don't have a lawn yet and you can play in the dirt until your heart is content.

chace you continue to be such a joy. every day is an adventure. happy 16 months baby boy!

love always
mama

dear chace

my dear sweet chace,

didn't i just write you? i don't know where the time goes, before i know it you will be leaving for college, preparing to make your mark on the world. i am not going to get ahead of myself, today you are 15 months old.

you are now sure footed. you can walk just about anywhere you want and on any surface.  you are close to a run. you just have not figured out how to keep your body from getting ahead of your feet. soon. very soon.  the warm weather is finally here and outside is the only place you want to be. you gather rocks, pinecones and sticks. you pick up mulch, touch the trees and smell the flowers. you are your father's child. nothing makes me happier. last night i looked out the window and you both were pulling weeds. it was the most precious thing ever,

you and i took our first solo trip. we met yaya in jamaica and had a wonderful time. you are such a good traveller. i am so grateful that you like to be on the go. you and i leave monday to go to santa fe for 10 days. in jamaica, you wanted to swim on your own so badly. you did not understand that you did not know how to swim. i tried and tried to explain to you that you didn't know how to swim and you kept telling me that you did. you wore yourself out exploring, swimming and playing in the clay.

when asked you can tell us what a sheep, snake, dog and cow say. you still love to read and we read many books on any given day. we need to work on expanding your palette. you would eat mac and cheese 3 times a day if allowed. fruit is still popular, but you want nothing to do with meat. i tried making you a hard boiled egg, you took one sniff and pushed it away. i hope that someday you will be a foodie like your dad and i.

your first acceptance letter arrived in the mail. i hope it is the first of many. you will be attending webster montessori school in the fall. i know this is one of the most important and life changing decisions your dad and i have made as parents.

this afternoon, we were all lying on our bed cuddling. it was the most magical moment. we are the sweetest child. i tried to make you promise that you would stay that way forever, not fair i know. you just threw your head back and laughed.

i never knew that being a parent could bring me such joy. thank you for that gift,

until next month.

love you always

mama

dear chace

my dear sweet chace,

as evident by this picture, taken this afternoon, you are every bit of 14 months. you had such fun toddling around the yard. you were so proud carrying this flower, but you did not  like how it smelled.

in the last month, you have changed so much. you are no longer a baby, you turned into a little boy this past month. you are constant motion, opening and closing doors, going up and down the stairs, and taking things out of drawers and putting them back in. the only time you are not moving is when you are sleeping, and this is a stretch because you turn circles in your sleep.

you are the happiest child that i know. seriously. you are happy all the time. the only time you are disgruntled is when you want a change of scenery. like yesterday when we were in the tv room playing, and you wanted to roam the house. all of a sudden you started squawking at me in this loud, stern, direct voice. i do not know what you were saying, but the message was very clear, " i want to roam the house, mama, now!"

i love watching you interact with others in public. you are always meeting new people, sharing your "finds" and smiling at those you encounter. you are such an extrovert and are only shy when you are playing shy.

your vocabulary has increased. your favorite word besides "mama" is "yaya". you also say yellow and red. you know where the moon is, where your head is and what a sheep says. your dad and i have decided that you are a perfect candidate for montessori school and we have an appointment to tour the school in a few weeks. i think it will be so good for you and that you will love it.

next week, you and i are going on our first solo trip to jamaica. we will be joining yaya. i am so looking forward to the warm weather. i know you will love being able to swim, play outside and not having  to wear a coat. i am a little nervous about maneuvering through the airport with all your gear, but i am sure we will be just fine. we have been practicing getting in and out of the ergo carrier without any help. i think this will be a great bonding adventure for us.

i love watching you discover the world around you. every day is a new adventure and i am so glad that i am here to share it with you.

loving you always
mama

dear chace

my dear sweet chace,

happy 13 months! you are officially a toddler. way to go!

you have grown up so much in the last month. i can hardly believe, but you are sweet as ever. please, please stay that way forever. thanks.

you are walking all over the place. you crawl sometimes, but only when you need to be really fast. i love watching you walk, you grow more sure of yourself with every step and are so proud of yourself when you reach your destination. you have 3 words, well you have more, but i have not figured out what they mean, mama, dada, and book. speaking of books, you still love to read! this makes me so happy. we read lots of books during the course of the day and you have taken to reading them on your own. you are eating alot of solid food these days. fruit is your absolute favorite, you would kill someone for blueberries, bananas and strawberries. but you also are a fan of grilled cheese and peanut butter and jelly. you had ground beef with tomato sauce last night and loved it. i am so grateful that you are a good eater.

you are so much fun. you have your own little personality and its like i have a constant little friend with me at all times. but, you have also begun to assert and express yourself. just yesterday i closed the door to the family room, which you did not want me to do, and to show me your displeasure you flopped on the floor and screamed. it was hard not to laugh, you were so pathetic laying there on the floor. luckily, your tantrum did not last long and you were your happy self within minutes.

i can not wait to see how you change and grow this month. it is such a joy and honor to be your mama.

love you
mama

dear chace

my dear sweet chace.

happy 1st birthday! i can not believe that at 5:51 pm this afternoon you will be one year old. i remember after you were born, people told me to enjoy my time with you, that it would go by fast. they were so right. the last year has flown by. it seems just like yesterday that we were making the drive to the hospital to meet you.

you are your own little person these days. you know what it is that you want and are learning how to express it to us. i long to know what is going on inside your head and what it is that you are telling us. i am sure that it wont be too long until i find out. you took your first steps on thursday. a string of 6 or 7 wobbly steps to your yaya. you were so proud of yourself. each day you get better and better at your balance and putting those steps together.

we had a birthday party for you over the weekend. sheep in the jeep was the theme, as it is your favorite book. you seemed to love every minute of the party. as if you knew that everyone was there for you, to celebrate your birth. you loved putting your hands through your cake. and i think that you even like the taste of the frosting. 

speaking of food. you love pasta, bread and fruit, especially blueberries.  you are definitely your fathers child.

chace, you bring your father and i such joy. you are sweet, funny and intelligent. we look forward to seeing what you discover each and every day. we are so blessed and honored to be your parents. we love you more than you know.

happy birthday my sweet sweet boy.

love you

mama

dear chace

dear chace.

today we took you the strong museum of play to celebrate your 11th month of life. you had a great time. i think you will like it more when you are little older. you were particularly fond of the salt water aquariums that were there. i think that you could have watched the fish for hours. your dad and i loved watching you, watch the fish, trying so hard to figure out how you could touch them.

in this past month you have grown so much. literally, your pants are floods and your long sleeve shirts are more like 3/4 sleeve shirts. you have perfected your crawl at warp speed. you are very efficient at cruising, and are working on your balance. you can say "mama and dada" and understand the word "no". when we tell you "no" you just shake your head and smile. you want to walk and talk, and you are frustrated because you are not quite there yet.

you are an excellent traveller and handled your first ear infection with flying colors. everyone who met you over christmas, was well, smitten with you. your love for all things technologically related has not waned. if you see my iphone, you want it and you think the computer is yours, and yours alone. you are not interested in tv so much. perhaps that is because the only think we let you watch is sports and the news.

you still love to read and are beginning to pick out which books you would like read to you. you almost have 6 teeth. this is helping you out in the food department. you are beginning to eat more "adult" food, however, puffs remain your favorite food and mandarin oranges are a close second.

chace, you are the sweetest baby i know. you love to gives hugs and kisses. i hope you stay this way forever ( although i know you won't).

happy 11 month sweet boy!

love you forever and ever
mama

dear chace

dear chace,

we are now two months away from your first birthday. i better start thinking about your birthday party!

in the last month you have developed into your own little person, with thoughts and opinions. there is a very clear divide when it comes to who you look like.  this of course depends on who you ask. your father's family and friends think you look like him and my family and friends think you look like me. i happen to think that you are a pretty good blend of both us. but in this picture, you are most definitely your mother's child.

these days you are crawling at a warp speed and cruising around the family room. you are still working on standing without holding on to something or someone. balance is the obstacle here.  you love to go under our legs and through your tunnel we bought you. your dad and i watched you take laps around the the family room the other day with an infinite amount of energy. we were tired just watching you.

you are funny. and you are smart. this is a combination that has the potential to be challenging for your parents down the road. but it is very hard not to laugh at you.

you now have 4 teeth. you are continuing to test the waters in the food arena and can be very dramatic when trying new foods ( i am still trying to figure out where you picked up that trait).

we head to santa fe on sunday for the christmas holidays. your yaya and pappous are very excited to see you. your dad and i are excited about your first christmas, watching you take it all in and experiencing it through your eyes. this will be the best christmas we have had in some time.

until next month.

i love you more that you know.
mama

dear chace

dear chace.

you are celebrating your 9 month birthday with a monster cold, which you will most likely give to everyone in the house. thanks bean.

i can not believe that we are 3 months away from your first birthday. my how the time has flown.

you have grown leaps and bounds in the past month. you are crawling at a warp speed, pulling yourself up on anything you can find, taking baby steps, and talking non stop. you have mastered waving and clapping to your delight. you love showing off your skills. you are eating like a champ, but it seems that you might be a texture baby. you did however, love your papa's pancakes this morning.

i never thought that i, the self proclaimed introvert, would have such an extroverted child. but i do. you are happy, funny, thoughtful and engaged. you love to read books over and over and over. you dance often and have a laugh that i never grow tired of hearing. you are developing into your own little person and it is such a delight to watch.

this time of year is hard for me. i feel your brother's loss profoundly. i know that you feel it too, but can not identify what it is. i want you to know, that my sadness, the ache in my heart has nothing to do with you. you are our greatest gift, our greatest joy and bring such happiness to our house.

happy 9 months, chace.

i love you more than you will ever know.

love
mama

dear chace

dear sweet chace.

happy 8 months! your papa and i were talking the other night about how big you are getting, that it seems like forever and a day since you were sleeping in our room and we were walking around in a sleep deprived haze. this is how children get siblings, their parents think "it wasn't that bad." and no, you are not getting any younger siblings.

in recent days you have started to crawl and are getting more proficient each day. you have found your voice. you like to make all kinds of noise. loud noise. your mama believes that you are not to young to start working on your inside voice. i do not like loud. you wave at everyone, including people on tv. you like to bang things in order to make noise. the best vehicle for this is a tin can with money in it. who needs fancy toys? and you love to dance, particularly to techno music.

you continue to love being outside. although you are not so fond of the extra layers of clothes you must wear. your papa put a swing in the tree for you and i think that you could spend hours swinging. just don't try to fly like your uncle sam did when he was wee. you love to read. and your favorite book is "sheep in a jeep."

you are all little boy. and are becoming a little person who expresses his thoughts and needs in your own way. i love spending time with you. you are my little pal. i am so thankful that i am able to stay home with you, as i know that you will not stay this way for long. there will come a day when i embarrass you and the last thing you will want to do is cuddle. so i am cherishing every minute of it. as much as you are coming into your own, i think i am settling into motherhood. and i couldn't be happier.


happy 8 months my sweet sweet boy.

love
mom

dear chace

dear chace,

it dawned on me this morning, as i was going through your closet, taking out clothes that you have out grown, that time has flown by, that you have grown so quickly and that you will not stay little forever. people tell me all the time, how fast babies grow, but it never really sunk in until this morning. and my how you have grown.

today, you are 7 months old and you have hit some major milestones in the past month. you made your first trip to greece. you were so good. your papa and i were so proud of our little traveler. it was like you had been waiting for that trip your entire life. you loved the sea. i am certain that you could have spent all day in the water if we let you. you did not miss one beat. and on our epic trip home you were so good. even when we spent two hours sitting on the runway in jfk, you slept. bravo!

while we were in greece, you got your first tooth, sat up in your crib by yourself, ate lemon potatoes, had a growth spurt and charmed everyone you met. it was very clear that you are an extrovert. when you knew you had an audience you put on a show. i have a feeling that you will be crawling soon. it is clear that you want to move. you can get up on your hands and knees. but you can not figure out how to move. i think it is only a matter of time.

this month you will meet a new friend, actually next week, stella. i can not wait to see you two interact. i think that watching her crawl for 4 days will inspire you to do the same. that is after all, how your mama decided she wanted to walk.

everyday continues to be an adventure. you continue to amaze me. i fall more in love with motherhood each day. ( ok who am i kidding. only when you are being fun, cute and silly. not when you are fussy, grumpy or refusing to sleep). i look forward to seeing what lies ahead for you in your 7th month.

love
mama

dear chace

dear sweet chace,

half a year. 6 months. 182 days. 4,368 hours. 262,080 minutes. 15,724,800 seconds. all these measurements say the same thing, happy 6 months!

you have changed so much since i last wrote you. you are sitting up, rolling over and standing with assistance. you do not have any teeth yet, but i feel confident that they will be arriving soon. i am in awe of how you change from day to day. i can see you grow each day. your brain is like a sponge and i can see you soaking your surroundings in. your facial expressions, let me know what you are thinking, well i wish i knew what you were thinking, but i do know it is something.... you are like me in that way. you may not being saying it, but it is written all over your face. this my dear will not make you a good poker player. maybe this is a good thing.

this month, we went on our first family road trip. your pappous came to visit, and you have spent a lot of time with your uncle luke. in a few short weeks we will head to greece where you will meet your godparents and many others who are eagerly awaiting your arrival. your dad and i are just hoping that the flight over is uneventful and you sleep most of the way. please sleep chace.

speaking of sleep, you are napping more consistently. and occasionally you will sleep through the night, giving us a taste of what is to come. but for now it is only a taste.  you did taste cereal but it did not agree with your stomach, so you will have to wait until we return from our vacation before you start experiencing food.

my love for you grows immensely each day. seeing you laugh or smile can melt my heart into a puddle. i look forward to each day with you and watching you discover the world around you.

happy 6 months, my sweet boy.

love
mom

dear chace

dear sweet chace,

happy 5 months! i can not believe you are 5 months old. here are some things that i have learned/ noticed about you over the last month.

** you are intense and focused when there is something you want.

** like your mother, you do not like loud voices or people in your personal space.

** thanks to both of your parents, you have a serious set of eyebrows. i am concerned we may have to wax them before you head off to montessori school.

** you know how to use said eyebrows correctly. this frightens me a little. you are only 5 months old.

** there is no better feeling in the world to see your eyes light up when you see me or when you smile at me with your one dimple.

** your laugh is infectious. but getting you to laugh is a somewhat difficult task.

** you like to wake up early, like your pappa.

** when you do nap, which is getting more regular, you like long naps like your momma.

** you are constant motion.

** you like books, music and rides in your fancy stroller.

** you continue to bring us such joy.

** i love watching you discover the world around you.

** i love being your momma more than anything in this world.

happy 5 months bean!

until next month.....

xo
mom

dear chace

dear sweet chace,

today marks your 4th month of life and to celebrate it we are going to the doctor. sorry bean.

you are changing and growing at a rapid pace. you seem to discover something new about your world daily. and i love watching you marvel at your discoveries. you recently found your feet, which give you hours of amusement. i am waiting for you to try to get them in your mouth. you continue to put everything in your mouth, but my favorite is seeing you simultaneously suck your thumb and your cashmere blanket. i do believe that you are the drooliest baby ever. i can only imagine what it will be like when you are teething. just last week you laughed. a good belly laugh. it was the sweetest sound i have ever heard and it made me cry.  i look forward to each day with you and seeing what you will discover next.

like your mama, you like books. we have spent many hours on the floor reading. i cant wait until you are old enough to read the chronicles of narnia, my absolute favorites when i was young. in recent days, you have returned to napping, but not without a fight. it is quite the process to get you to go to sleep, but eventually you oblige. this makes you a much  happier baby. you continue to sleep well at night.

in this past month you travelled on an airplane to see your yaya and pappous. what an adventure that was, chace. we spent two and a half weeks in santa fe where you met most of your texas relatives, the wallace side of the family. after flying with you, we decided you need your own seat when we travel to greece in september. i think this will be best for all of us.

your papa and i are settling into parenthood. we can spend hours watching you. you continue to be our greatest joy and greatest creation.

happy 4th month chace!

love
mom

dear chace

dear sweet chace,

this mother's day marks mother's day as well as your 12th week of life. as i write this, you are snuggled up on my chest in your moby wrap. there is nothing better than feeling your breath on my neck and your heart beating with mine.

this past 4 weeks began as a roller coaster, but have turned into a rather uneventful ride. your stomach has been very sensitive which caused great crankiness on your part. after 3 formulas, we finally have one that you like and agrees with your tiny tummy. you have settled into a napping routine and continue to take long naps. i attribute this to two factors: one, you take after me, i love long naps and two, you are sleeping on your stomach, which you seem to prefer.

now that your tummy is better, you are all smiles and laughs. you like to look at yourself in the mirror and have recently discovered the ever fascinating game of peek-a-boo. you have discovered your hands and love to put them in your mouth. i am sure you are days away from discovering your thumb. your head and neck grow stronger by the day. in fact you seem to be changing daily and i look forward to seeing what you will discover next. i feel like i am getting better at motherhood and am settling into my new role and life. we are settling into a daily routine, the two of us and that feels good.

tomorrow we are off to santa fe for two weeks. your first of many plane rides. there are a lot of people who are anxious to meet you, but no one is more excited to see you than your pappous.

chace you continue to heal my heart. sometimes i stare at you in amazement, amazement that your father and i created someone so precious and perfect. i feel like being your mother is the best job i could ever have.

loving you always.

mom

dear chace

dear sweet chace,

today marks your 8th week of life. i can not believe how quickly the time passes. your dad and i continue to settle into our new role of parenthood. each day presents something new and we are learning to adjust to whatever you seem to throw at us.

you are growing like crazy. you have your 2 month check up at the doctor tomorrow and we are eager to see just how much you have grown. your head and neck are getting stronger, you are more alert and are talking to us. it is very clear that you have your daddy's eyelashes. i swear they grow by the hour. it remains to be seen what color your eyes will be. you are a very serious baby, you come by it naturally, i suppose. but lately you have started to smile at us, which melts my heart into puddle. there is nothing sweeter than seeing you smile at me.

you are sleeping very well at night and for that we grateful. however, during the day you seem to like one long nap in the afternoon. i cant say that i blame you. there is no catnapping for you. when you nap, you make sure it is a long one. you are a little bit fussy. i am understating this a bit. i was very cranky as a baby and every one likes to remind me of that fact. so i guess this is payback for me. i think that your fussiness is to teach me to ask others for help (this is a very difficult task for me).

now that the weather is getting nicer we have been walking. you like to be in the stroller and it helps me lose my baby weight. you have been on several stroller dates with riley and have spent time with tommy and charlie. we have an all boy playgroup already established. you have also spent time with your cousin andrew. he has been very nice about sharing his toys with you, although you didn't really want them just yet. you will be getting a new baby cousin in a few weeks, another boy.

you are one of my greatest creations, your brother being the other one. i look forward to what you will show us each day and i love you more with each passing day.

loving you always

mom

dear chace

dear sweet chace,

28 days. its hard to believe that you are one month old.

the past four weeks have been blissful, even if we are sleep deprived. your arrival has made everything right with the world again. we are a family. my heart has mended a little more. and i feel your brother's presence more than ever. he is watching over you i am sure.

you don't like mornings. in fact you seem to hate them, almost as much as you dislike waking up. but you are sleeping in 3 hour blocks at night and for that i am grateful. you seemed to have found your voice and are talking more when you are awake. i love watching you. all the little faces you make, especially when you smirk. your timing is impeccable, you always seem to know when we are talking about you.

the first few weeks were hard for me. you look so much like your brother. and some of your mannerisms are identical. but you have settled into your own little being with your own personality quirks. i recognize so many of them from when you were inside my belly.

your dad goes back to work tomorrow, so it will be you and i during the day. i am looking forward to getting to know you more. in some ways it feels like i have known you all my life and at the same time i am just getting to know you.

i cant even begin to tell you how much i love you, how you have stolen my heart and how you have helped me feel whole again. i am so proud to be your mama. your are my heart.

love you always

mom