year 3

Friday, December 31, 2010

i like
who we are
we are

happy anniversary love!
i love you more than words can say!

a taste of new orleans

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

 it is no secret on this blog that ph and i like food. and that we would even go so far as to call ourselves foodies. it also no secret that we love to eat when we come to santa fe. there are some fantastic restaurants here. we have our favorites, our must eat for each visit. my body craves the subtle heat of green chiles living in the north east. believe me, i have tried every mexican food place in town and nothing compares to the food of the southwest, food that i grew up eating.

but would you guess that one of our favorite places to eat is callie's galle.  a bus turned into a cajun food mecca that sits on the side of interstate 25 everyday from 3-8 pm. they serve authentic cajun food that makes you forget that you are in the southwest and transports you to the streets of new orleans. seriously, it is that good. the first time my dad suggested we pick up food from callie's galle two years ago, i was skeptical to say the least. i am happy to say they did not disappoint and they were quickly added to our ever growing list of "must eats."

i wondered how this little gem of a place would make it and was pleased to see them parked in their usual spot yesterday. so pleased, that we had crawfish etouffee, jambalaya and gumbo last night for dinner. so if you find yourself in santa fe, do stop at callie's galle for a taste of new orleans.

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

** i hope you had a great christmas.

** we had a grand time.

** we started a new family tradition this year.


**ph and i were the big winners.

** ph and i have seen 3 movies this week.

** the fighter, the tourist and true grit.

** santa brought me 200 fat quarters of kona cotton in an array of colors.

** yes, i said 200 fat quarters.

** chace got his first ear infection on xmas eve.

** i am currently drinking shiner bock.

** i finished knitting chace a sweater.

** and have started on a project for me.

** two words: blue sky

** the sky here is so fantastic.

** you can see forever.

** we are eating wonderful food.

** more on that later.

** happy tuesday.

future sunshine rider

Monday, December 27, 2010

growing up, i broke most the rules that my parents set for me; but, there was one, that i actually followed. during my dad's time as an internist he treated many victims of motorcycle accidents. so it was no surprise that a "no motorcycle riding" rule was imposed in our house.  this was a rule i actually followed.

ph grew up in an entirely different household. his dad and uncles all had motorcycles. harley davidsons to be exact. it is his desire to own one of his own. i have a different idea and told him not until he is at least 55  years of age. it is a topic where we agree to disagree. i am not too worried, because it is not in our budget in the immediate future.

last night at the dinner table the conversation turned to the topic of motorcycles. my brother's girlfriend, who we call sunshine, my brother and ph decided that they were going to start a motorcycle gang. its name "the sunshine rider's".

currently, chace is the only one who "has" a motorcycle, thanks to santa.

merry christmas

Saturday, December 25, 2010

wishing you and yours a very merry christmas where ever you may be. xoxo. luc

a moment

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

** we are in santa fe for the holidays.

** we are not returning home until 1-1-11.

** it is warm here.

** in the 50's but this is warm for us.

** ph and i went shopping at whole foods this am for my mom.

** i really, really love whole foods.

** since i don not have my sewing machine, i brought a lot of knitting projects.

** and a few books.

** mom and i have been baking cookies.

** and i am cooking every night while everyone is home.

** my gift to my mom.

** i love christmas time.

** hoping to see some movies while we are here.

** we did not stay up last night to see the lunar eclipse.

** did you?

dear delta

Monday, December 20, 2010

dear delta,

while i do not belong to your platinum elite flying club
i do consider myself a frequent flier and
i fly delta whenever possible.
and in an industry full of choices,
i repeatedly choose to fly delta airlines.

but after my travel experience yesterday
i am beginning to rethink my decision.
i understand that the holidays are a busy time for travel.
but this is not a surprise to anyone.
you know this, so why weren't you better prepared.

my husband, 10 month old son and i
arrived at the airport two hours before our flight.
i had checked in online the night before,
paid for our baggage and printed our tickets.

when we arrived at the airport at 5:30 am
there was a line at the delta counter.
not a big deal, except upon further inspection
it was 3 lines funneling into one line.
there was one agent working the ticket counter
who had no idea what was going on.
it was clear that there was no order,
no system and no organization.

we stood in line for 30 minutes without moving.
i finally made my way to the counter
and asked  what individuals were supposed to do
if they simply needed bag tags.
she told me to use the kiosk
and then she would call my name.
i followed her instructions and
finally we were able to checks our bags.

when i made our reservations
our flight from Atlanta to Albuquerque was full
and i could not get seats together.
i did not think this was a big deal.
but i called an agent to double check
and to request the bulkhead.
you see we chose to buy our 10 month old a ticket
and the car seat fits better in the bulkhead.

when we arrived in Atlanta
the gate agent told me that there was not
anything she could do to sit us together.
i told her that she could not let a 10 month old sit alone.
i also mentioned that we had requested the bulkhead.
she replied that this was for handicapped and she could not seat us there.
we did eventually get two seats together, and my husband changed seats with
someone so we all sat together.

but when we boarded the plane
i noticed that there were three young members of our
military sitting in the bulkhead.
clearly not handicapped.
when i asked the flight attendant about the bulk head policy
she told me that it was not for handicapped or children.

this is the second time this has happened to us with the bulkhead.
the first was on a flight to Europe.
we are told by reservation agents to request ahead of time.
and that the gate agents will release them before the flight.
then we are told by the gate agent that they are for the handicapped.
and then told something else entirely by the flight attendant.

as someone who travels to Europe once a year with a child
as well as domestically i would like some clarification.
or else i will have to rethink my decision to repeatedly choose
to fly delta airlines.

happy holidays


Saturday, December 18, 2010

today was hard.
i am pretty sure that this day
will always be hard.
time does not make it
easier or better or less painful.

the images of that day
have not dulled with time.
i can remember the details
and i wish they would fade
just a little.

the way he felt
and looked
and smelled.
it is all there in my mind.
i can go back there in an instant.

today we went to his garden.
as a family.
even the dogs.
we needed to be there
to remember.
to feel
to love.

the only thing you
could see
was his plaque poking
out through the snow.
making his absence
known to all.

today was hard.
it will always be hard.
but i will always make
it through the day.
it is what he would want.

i miss you cooper.
i love you forever

chace meets santa

Friday, December 17, 2010

last weekend, ph's uncle called to see if he and his wife could stop by to see chace before we left. we are missing the extended family gathering, so we did not think much of the request. after some back and forth decided to have them over tuesday night for dinner.  little did we know that santa was going to show up at our door.

as you can see chace was not the least bit afraid of santa, but then again have santa ALL to yourself helps.

tuesday tidbits on wednesday

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

** last night chace had a private visit with santa.

** seriously, he came to our house.

** too see chace.

** more on this tomorrow.

** and in true chace form, he was not afraid.

** at all.

** it is still snowing.

** i am obsessed with pintrest.

** it is so fun and time sucking.

** i am wrapping up my handmade gifts.

** christmas and otherwise.

** we leave sunday very early in the morning.

** saturday is the 2nd anniversary of cooper's death.

** my heart is heavy and full at the same time.

**there is still time to order last minute gifts from the shop.

**i have two new books to read while i am home.

** oh and i am going to learn how to embroider.

dear chace

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

dear chace,

we are now two months away from your first birthday. i better start thinking about your birthday party!

in the last month you have developed into your own little person, with thoughts and opinions. there is a very clear divide when it comes to who you look like.  this of course depends on who you ask. your father's family and friends think you look like him and my family and friends think you look like me. i happen to think that you are a pretty good blend of both us. but in this picture, you are most definitely your mother's child.

these days you are crawling at a warp speed and cruising around the family room. you are still working on standing without holding on to something or someone. balance is the obstacle here.  you love to go under our legs and through your tunnel we bought you. your dad and i watched you take laps around the the family room the other day with an infinite amount of energy. we were tired just watching you.

you are funny. and you are smart. this is a combination that has the potential to be challenging for your parents down the road. but it is very hard not to laugh at you.

you now have 4 teeth. you are continuing to test the waters in the food arena and can be very dramatic when trying new foods ( i am still trying to figure out where you picked up that trait).

we head to santa fe on sunday for the christmas holidays. your yaya and pappous are very excited to see you. your dad and i are excited about your first christmas, watching you take it all in and experiencing it through your eyes. this will be the best christmas we have had in some time.

until next month.

i love you more that you know.

handmade holiday

Monday, December 13, 2010

this year we drew names in our family.
it makes sense as our family is growing.
we also set a monetary limit.
this is also makes sense.

what does not make sense
is that i am frantically sewing and knitting
trying to get gifts finished before we leave
on sunday morning.

these are not handmade gifts
for the holidays.
they are other sorts of
handmade gifts.

the you bought a new house gift
the thank you for dog sitting gift
the just because you want one gift
the getting ready for my new nephew gift.

so how is your holiday shopping/making going?


Friday, December 10, 2010

because a girl can never have to much bling.

Ipad Sleeve 

a moment

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

** winter is here.

** it is like someone flipped a switch.

** the snow switch.

** we have a ton of snow.

** and it is not forecasted to let up until next week.

** the joys of lake effect.

**we are starting the transition that occurs this time of year.

** the transition of ph being home.

** it is nice having the extra hands and it gives me more time with my sewing machine.

** i have picked up my knitting needles again.

** knitting at night while watching tv.

**today is the last day of  the holiday sales at lucends.

** enter BLACK10 to receive 10% off your entire order.

** i have a huge pot of chili cooking.

** c's top two teeth are coming in at the same time.

** joy oh joy.

** i have been listening to lots of xmas music.

** what is your favorite christmas song?

** mine is the little drummer boy and what child is this?

** i am trying to finish up some quilting projects that have been lingering.

** and testing out new ideas for the shop for 2011.

** happy tuesday.

caught up

Monday, December 6, 2010

i am finally caught up on all of my virtual quilting bees.
and this feels sooooo good.
now i can focus on finishing up
some of my projects
and work on some new ideas 
i have brewing in my head.

bits and pieces bee made two of these blocks

pins and needles bee

pins and needles bee

3x6 bee 4th quarter. made 6 of these in different colors

meet kit

Saturday, December 4, 2010

do you name your cars?
i do.

there was betsy, white lightening, and old blue.
then i stopped naming my cars.
for no particular reason.
i wasn't inspired.
names did not pop into my head
while driving.

several weeks ago
i named my car.
a 2006 silver vw passat
that i have driven for
the past three years.

why did i suddenly feel compelled to name my car?

it was when my mom was here visiting.
we had been running a few errands.
it was cold and rainy.
we had one last stop to make.
we decided that i would run in
and mom would stay with c.

seemed like a good plan.
until my car developed
a mind of its own.

i got out of the car
and shut my door.
mom got out of the car
to sit in the back seat with c.
she shut her door.

and then she heard it.
the car locked.
i mean locked down.
every door, window and trunk.
with the keys in the ignition
and c in back seat.

what do you mean it locked i asked her?

sure enough
the passat turned into kit from knight rider
with my child in the back seat.

i called ph to come quickly.
mom called triple a.
i went inside took care of my business.
mom tried to keep c from crying.
while standing in the rain.

for the most part he had no idea
he was locked in the car by himself.
it was more traumatic on mom and i.
we both cried
wondered if it was too early for a drink.

kit has refused to repeat the incident
despite my request.
vw said they couldn't fix it unless
it locked down again.

but my car now has a name,
does yours?

a moment

Thursday, December 2, 2010

cooper's hawk

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

this is cooper now.
in the afterlife.

i never knew how
i felt about life after death.
or if i believed that your
spirit lives on in some other form.
until cooper.

i am believer.
because of him.

cooper's form
is a cooper's hawk.

i know it is my cooper
because he appears when
we need to see him.
when we need a sign
that he is ok.
that he is close.
that he is with us.

he always knows when to stop by...

he made an appearance
the day chace was born.
on thanksgiving.
the other day when i was sewing.
and today after the first snow.

ph is the one that usually sees him.
but recently he has been coming by
to see me.
i can not tell you how happy this makes me.

today, he came by
to see his little brother
and let ph take a picture.

isn't he spectacular?

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

** this afternoon i am heading to scott miller to get a haircut and hi-light.

** this makes me happy.

**i am slowly catching up on my bee blocks for this month.

**i love sewing on my new sewing machine.

** it is so quiet!

** i am knitting a baby sweater for my soon to be born nephew.

** well not soon, end of march.

** but his home will be in alaska.

** it is cold ALL the time there.

**i need some books to read over the holidays.

** suggestions?

** we booked our plane tickets this week.

** bean and i will be in santa fe for over three weeks.

**i made the family chocolate pecan pie this weekend.

** i put too much rum in it and didn't cook it long enough.

** this potential FAIL turned into an epic WIN.

**fresh wreaths made by ph boss are now in the etsy shop.

** you still have one week to use your coupon in the shop.

** coupon code is BLACK10

** come on, you know you want to.

** cooper came to visit yesterday.

** i felt this pair of eye watching me, looked up and he was sitting in the tree.

** watching me sew.

** we talked, i cried, he flew away.

** i miss him.

starting a tree tradition

Monday, November 29, 2010

growing up, we never out our christmas tree up until the 15th of december. i am not really sure why, that was the magical date, but it was magical. my brothers and i looked forward to the day when the frasier fir would arrive freshly cut from north carolina ( there were no tree farms in west texas. hell, there are hardly any trees, so we ordered our tree by mail). 

i never understood the need or desire to put your tree up as soon as the thanksgiving dishes were washed, but in recent years, travel has forced us to do just that. the last two years i have tried to get out of putting up a tree. i just haven't felt holidayish. since cooper died, i can not get into the holiday spirit until the 19th; but, ph has forced me into holiday cheer. 

we head to santa fe on dec. 19th, so it was now or never in the tree department. so this afternoon, the three of us embarked on what i am sure will become tradition, or at least i hope so, and went to cut down our christmas tree. bean wasnt sure what to make of it all. i promised him that in a few years this will be a magical moment. i can not wait to experience christmas through his eyes. i can imagine anything more magical or precious.

when do you decorate your christmas tree?

dear cooper

Saturday, November 27, 2010

my dear sweet precious cooper.

today you would have turned two years old. and i find myself wondering what you would have been like? this is not a new question for me to ponder, but as i watch your brother grow and change before my eyes, i find myself thinking about this more and more.

i like to think that you would have been more introverted, quiet and studious. i have no doubt that you would have been talking in paragraphs by now. you would have been happy to play by yourself, active but not a whirling dervish like your younger brother can be... boy is he active. you would be determined,  and strong, a fighter, you were that in your short life, so i am certain it would have stayed with you and served you well. your personality was just beginning to form when you were taken from us, and my heart aches to know what you would have been, could have been.

but then i get glimpses. like when you come to visit us. on thanksgiving you sat in the the magnolia tree very quiet, still and proud. once we made eye contact and you knew that i saw you and was ok, you flew away. you always know when to make an appearance, when i need to feel connected to you. it is in these moments that i know, there is life after death, that you and i will be connected forever, that you will always be my first born. but cooper, i miss you. and my heart hurts. and the hole that your death left aches. i am beginning to realize that it always will, that this journey lasts a lifetime. and sometimes, that knowledge is too much for me to bear.

and then i realize all that you have given me and i know that i must put one foot in front of the other. i must and that you are here with me every single step of the way. it is with that knowledge that i am able to move forward.

despite all the emotions that surround your short life, you remain the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. cooper, i will always be grateful for that gift.

i love you more than ever.
happy birthday my sweet precious cooper.
may you spread your wings and soar
on this cold november day.
i hope you stop by to say hello.

loving and missing you always

a moment

Friday, November 26, 2010


Thursday, November 25, 2010

even though cooper's birthday is still two days away, he is very much on my heart and mind. since he was born on thanksgiving, i tend to associate the day with his birth more so than the date on the calendar. it is grey and cold here, much like how i feel. i dont know how to explain the emotions associated with thanksgiving. it is happiness and sadness rolled into one big bundle of emotion.

but instead of telling you much my heart aches for cooper, how i can recall every detail of the day he was born and all that came after, or how the hole in my heart is still there, or how it makes me angry that people act like today is just a "normal" thanksgiving day now that we have chace, i am going to tell you what i am thankful for.....

** precious husband. he is my rock, my sanity and my heart.

** chace. he is the redemption and grace after the heartache. he is why i get out of bed each morning.

** cooper. he taught me how to love, to really love. i miss every minute of every day.

** friends old and new that i have met on this journey. you give me strength.

** this blog. it is a place where i make sense of the ramblings in my head.

**family. it is everything.

**fabric and yarn. it keeps me sane and obsessed at the same time.

** wine. at the end of the day i just need a glass of wine.

what are you thankful for?


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

if you missed lucends at the RMSC Holiday Bazaar
or if you live out of town.
you are in luck.

i am loading the remaining
of my inventory onto the
lucends etsy shop.

better still, i am offering
you dear readers
a coupon code.
from now until dec.7th 2010
enter BLACK10
and you will earn 10% off
your entire order.

all the inventory will be in
the shop by black friday.

so i hope you will take a look
give the gift of handmade
this holiday season.

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

** my crafting hangover is better today.

** although i am not ready to start sewing.

** but i am going to pick up my new sewing machine this afternoon.

** c gave me his cold.

**it takes forever to put stuff on etsy.

** a truly arduous process.

** "a" cant you just appear and photograph my stuff.

** please, pretty please.

** i need to work on plane tickets for our trip home.

** which will include a trip to austin.

** c knows how to operate peekaboo barn on my iphone.

** this frightens me.

** cooper's birthday is in 4 days.

** i find myself thinking alot about what he would have been like.

**december 19th can not come soon enough.

** i started knitting with the handspun cashmere i bought at purl.

** it is the softest yarn i have ever used.

** it is going to be a scarf for my mama.

** bean is awake and wants to be out of his crib.

craft hangover

Monday, November 22, 2010

i did not think it was possible, but i have a craft hangover.
a serious one.
so serious that i can not think about sewing
much less actually sew today.

i hope this hangover
doesn't last long.
i have bee blocks to make
quilts to put together
and holiday gifts to make.

but i am hungover.

overall, the show went well.
i sold 53 items
or 47% of my inventory.
the response to my work
was positive.

so, all in all a good experience.

i am working on listing
the remainder of my inventory
on etsy.
and should have a holiday shopping
treat for you all soon.

thanks for sticking
with me during my
sewing frenzy.
i am looking forward
to returning to
my regular blog/sewing routine.



Thursday, November 18, 2010

i have an obsession.
i have several obsessions.

my most recent
fabric hexagons.
which turned into
hexagon garland.

they will be for sale
this weekend
at the RMSC Holiday Bazaar.
if you live in the rochester area.
i do hope you will
pay us a visit.
we are in booth #611.

heavy heart

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

i was going to tell you about the show today, give you a sneak peak. but there is something more pressing. the sneak peak can wait.

dr and mrs j,

i don't really know you.
we have met once.
but i know about you
through my parents.

i know your pain.
how your heart
is broken into a million pieces.

i know the feeling
of not being able to breathe
because the pain
is too much to bear.

you wonder how you go on,
how you put one foot in
front of the other.

you wonder if your heart
will ever mend.
if life will ever be the same.

you think for a brief moment
that it would be easier
if you could go in a hole
and never come out.

that there is no way that
you can continue to live
with this pain,
this broken heart.

i know all of this.

but i am here to tell you.
that you while your heart
will never be the same.
you will find joy again.

you never get over
losing your child.
it leaves a hole
in your heart
that is incapable of closing.

but it will mend.

people will say
the most awful things,
because they don't know
what to say.
you are living
their worst nightmare.

but you will continue
to live.

grief comes in waves.
at inconvenient times,
in the most public places.
and when you think you
can not take it anymore
you will be able to breathe.

and you will find peace.

the road ahead of you
is not easy.
it is difficult and it is long.
and i am pretty sure
it lasts a lifetime.

but with the support
of family and friends
and most importantly
each other
your heart can mend.

i am so sorry
you are on this journey.
my heart aches for you.
i am here if you need

and i know that my cooper
has found your son
and that they are watching over
our families.

sending you love and peace


tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

** my hands are tired.

** but i am almost done.

** almost ready for the rmsc holiday bazaar this weekend.

** i can see the finish line.

** and i have surpassed the goal i set for my self.

** i have a few more things to sew and its all the little details.

** i will give you a sneak peak tomorrow.

** c goes for his 9 month check up tomorrow.

** anyone care to guess how much he weighs?

** we are having 5 guys for dinner.

** and greek pasta tomorrow night.

** in case you were curious.

** next week, after the show, i have 5 bee blocks to make before the end of the month.

** i am a little behind.

** i am also going to start a few knitting projects.

** can you believe next week is thanksgiving?

** yikes.

** we are having a few friends over the day after thanksgiving.

** i need to figure out what we are cooking.

** the weather forecast is lousy for the weekend.

** i hope this means lots of people will be at the show shopping.

** what i don't sell will go on the etsy shop.

** i think that is it for today.

dear chace

Sunday, November 14, 2010

dear chace.

you are celebrating your 9 month birthday with a monster cold, which you will most likely give to everyone in the house. thanks bean.

i can not believe that we are 3 months away from your first birthday. my how the time has flown.

you have grown leaps and bounds in the past month. you are crawling at a warp speed, pulling yourself up on anything you can find, taking baby steps, and talking non stop. you have mastered waving and clapping to your delight. you love showing off your skills. you are eating like a champ, but it seems that you might be a texture baby. you did however, love your papa's pancakes this morning.

i never thought that i, the self proclaimed introvert, would have such an extroverted child. but i do. you are happy, funny, thoughtful and engaged. you love to read books over and over and over. you dance often and have a laugh that i never grow tired of hearing. you are developing into your own little person and it is such a delight to watch.

this time of year is hard for me. i feel your brother's loss profoundly. i know that you feel it too, but can not identify what it is. i want you to know, that my sadness, the ache in my heart has nothing to do with you. you are our greatest gift, our greatest joy and bring such happiness to our house.

happy 9 months, chace.

i love you more than you will ever know.


a moment

Thursday, November 11, 2010

can you guess where this is?

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

** it is gray here.

** this does not help my mood.

** mom and had a great time in nyc.

** purl was awesome.

** i wanted it all.

** i can not believe that the holiday bazaar is next weekend.

** yikes!

** working as fast as i can.

** i just tried to feed chace some butter beans.

** not a fan.

** suggestions on food to give him that is not in a pureed form?

**my youngest brother and his wife are having a baby in april.

** they find out this week what they are having.

** i think it is a boy.

** so glad that the election is OVER.

** thats all i have.

** kinda grumpy today.

** and grey like the weather.


Monday, November 8, 2010

mom and i had a great time in nyc.
with the exception of the extra
40,000 people there to run the
NYC marathon.

we went to the new purl store.
it was heaven.
it was perfect.
it was inspiring
and it was crowded.

here is some of the loot
i could not live without.

handspun cashmere

echino oilcloth

chunky zippers

a moment

Thursday, November 4, 2010

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

** did you vote today?

** c and i voted this morning.

** i talked to him about the importance of civic duty.

** i believe that you can not criticize the system if you don't vote.

** yaya arrives on thursday.

** we are very excited about her visit.

** i made c baby food yesterday.

** i know, i said i wasn't going to do it.

** but meat in a jar creeps me out.

** so i made chicken and rice.

** he did not like it.

** he gagged in a very dramatic fashion.

** we will try it again another day.

** mom and i head to nyc on saturday.

** looking forward to some mom/daughter time.

** cant wait to visit the new purl store.

** the new jcrew catalog arrived today and well.... i want it all.

** the last two nights c has woken up every two hours.

** ouch.

** i think his top teeth are coming in.

** ouch.

** hope you had a good election tuesday.


Monday, November 1, 2010

it is no secret, or maybe it is, that i like to cook.
but i am not very good at creating my own culinary creations.
i have nightmares that i am on top chef
and tom colicchio is not kind at judge's table,
jolting me awake.
its true.

but there is one dish i make well,
and i happened to create it.
and i make it whenever i have company.
i made it for athena when she came to ny.

today, during one of our text conversations.
she mentioned that she was craving said dish.
this is for you, athena.
crave no more.

greek pasta

kalamata olives
diced tomatoes (fresh and canned)
feta cheese
white beans
penne pasta

1. saute garlic in olive oil until fragrant
2. add shrimp and saute until golden
3. i usually add white wine at this point for added flavor.
4. add canned and fresh tomatoes and simmer until tomatoes have broken down.
5. while tomatoes are simmering, cook pasta.
6. add olives, capers and beans to tomato mixture.
7. add feta and simmer until it melts.
8. pour sauces over the pasta and toss.
9. top with more feta.
10. more your self a glass of wine and enjoy.

what is your go to dish to make?

happy halloween

Sunday, October 31, 2010


Saturday, October 30, 2010

a glimpse of my work for the holiday bazaar in a few weeks. as of today i have 66 pieces of handmade goodness ready.

storm clouds

Friday, October 29, 2010

they are slowly building.
getting bigger
and heavier.
weighing on my chest.
causing my heart to ache.

the only release i know
is to give in to the pain.
to feel it.
to cry.
to mourn.

it doesn't get easier.
time does not heal.

i suppose
this will happen
every year.
wanting to get from
now till christmas.

because that means
i will have made it
his birthday
and the anniversary
of his death.

i used to love
the time between
now i dread it.

those around me
make thanksgiving plans.
i want no part of it.
i want to be in my house
with ph, and chace
together as a family.

not putting on a brave face
as if it never happened.
as if the pain as gone.
as if life is normal.

there is happiness.
there is laughter.
there is love.
there is chace.

but my heart
is still broken.
and the storm clouds
are building.

a moment

Thursday, October 28, 2010

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

** yesterday i flooded the basement.

** i was switching the load size and didn't flip it all the way.

** the washer got confused and just kept filling with water.

** silly washer.

** it is very windy out.

** but warm.

** i entered c in the gap casting call contest.

** vote for him if you feel inclined.

** tell your friends too.

** no pressure.

** tomorrow friday night lights starts.

** i can not wait.

** still sewing away.....

** getting closer to 100 items.

** my mom comes for a visit next week.

** looking forward to it.

** and we are going to NYC for the weekend.

** i love NYC.

** that's all i have.

** have a good one.

dress rehearsal

Monday, October 25, 2010

chace is going to be a monkey
for halloween.
today we had a
dress rehearsal
at story time

i confess

Sunday, October 24, 2010

i have been thinking alot
about athena's latest post.
i have been thinking
while sewing.

and i think it is ok
to be selfish.
to want to have an identity
that is seperate from
your husband
your work
and your children.

being a good mother
is a selfless act.
and having something
for yourself
is important.
it makes you a better mother.

i am selfish too.
this is why i am
very strict with the schedule.
i know people
think i am too rigid.
but i do not care.

being a slave to the schedule
gives me 2 hours in the day
when i can lose myself
in fabric.
in stitches.
in patterns.
and the gentle hum of the sewing machine.

this two hours makes me
a better mother.
a more patient mother.
it enables me to be totally selfless
when i am with my son.
this is the ultimate gift that
i can give him.

it also gives me
the structure
that i crave.
it creates a rhythm
to our day.

this predictability
is good for chace.
he is happier
when he knows
the game plan.

so instead of
being hard on myself
for wanting to create.
or having to constantly
explain the schedule
or the need to maintain it.
i am going to embrace it.

being a slave to schedule
while self motivated
is a gift to myself,
and ph.

so, athena dear,
it is healthy
to want something
that is yours and yours alone.
do not be afraid
to own your photo skills.
you have a gift.

and for the record,
you are a damn good

a moment

Thursday, October 21, 2010

i am starting something new.
a weekly post.
called "a moment."

it is just that.
a moment snapped
with a camera.

a moment
that captures
and loving.

because as
the king of country
says "life is not the breath you take,
but the moments that take your breath away."