cooper's flock update

Thursday, September 29, 2011

today i dropped
the last batch of
cooper's birds at the hospital.

can you believe it?

it was hard.
to be in that space.
the memories came
rushing back.

it was hard to
randomly run into
cooper's surgeon.
(even though i had a premonition that i was going to see him today)
i have not seen him
since we met to go over the autopsy.

over 400 birds
have been given to
families on surgery day
for the past 2.5 years.

thank you to all who contributed to the flock.

cooper has been on my mind.
i miss him terribly today.
i have mixed emotions
about no longer having a box
of birds in my basement.

i knew this day would come
that the birds would not reproduce
in my basement.
but i kind of wish they did.

they have brought
comfort to families on a
very difficult day.

the families do not know
me or my story.
simply, that someone who has been
in their shoes is thinking about them.

jen and i were talking
today about what the
next move is for cooper's flock.
i am torn.

what do you think?

if you want
to create birds, i will love
you for it.
if you do not want to,
i will still love you.

you decide.

a moment

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

** i am not quite sure how it is tuesday again.

** i feel like i just wrote this post.

** did you hear the news?

** lucends will be a vendor at renegade craft fair in austin nov 26 and 27.

** i am beyond excited.

**chace has settled into school.

** no more tears in the morning.

** he has learned to flush the toilet.

** an important skill for little boys to learn.

** i have started my sewing schedule.

** i am going to try very hard not to add new items to my list.

** but i am afraid this might be impossible.

** i had a mani/pedi yesterday at scott miller.

** i am wearing the color wicked.

** this afternoon, i am going to make homemade granola.

** thursday night, ph and i have to attend curriculum night at webster montessori.

** should be interesting.

** happy tuesday.

** back to the sewing machine.

magic backpack

Sunday, September 25, 2011

i mentioned on tuesday
that i was doing
some personal sewing
this week, before i get in production
mode for my upcoming shows.

one of the things
that has been on my list
is this darling backpack
for chace.

i thought it would be
perfect for school
and traveling over the holidays.

i found the fabric
at the quilt shop in santa fe.
it has hippos all over it.

i am very proud of this
little backpack.
it was labor intensive
and i think it came out great.

but what makes me
the happiest
is chace loves it.

he ran into school
on friday to show
all the teachers his backpack.
he pointed to each hippo.
he was so proud.

we had a class nature walk
and he would not leave home
with out his backpack.
i took the opportunity
to snap so photos.

the breath

Thursday, September 22, 2011

when was the last time
you paid attention to your breath?
i am referring to the breath
that moves in and out of your body.
your life force.

i have always taken
breath for granted.
never paid much attention
to it, until i started taking yoga.

it is the center of yoga.
the movements and poses
follow the breath.
we pay attention to the air moving
in and out of or body through
the nose.

i have noticed that when
a pose becomes challenging
i stop breathing.
i wonder if i do that off of my mat?

i have a hard time
at the end of class
being still,
letting my mind rest.

it wanders
i make list
i think about blog topics
sewing projects.
i stop following my breath.

last night, i made the commitment
to really try to stay present
at the end of class
to not wander.

i was not sure how
i was going to accomplish this task.
but i was committed to trying.

i found myself, saying the names of my boys.
cooper on in inhale.
chace on the exhale.

they are my life force.
my reason for being.
by focusing on their names
with each breath i was able
to stay present, in the moment,
on my mat.
and my mind rested.

this got me thinking
how much more would
i experience if i paid more
attention to the breath during the course
of my day?

so i will ask again
when was the last time
you paid attention to
your breath?

a moment

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

** i have decided to sew projects for myself this week.

** things that have been on my "to do" list for a while.

** i will start my self imposed sewing schedule next week.

** i will know by then if i was accepted to the renegade craft fair  holiday show in austin.

** if i get in, you will hear me scream with delight, where ever you might be.

** it is fall around here and i love it so.

** besides christmas time, it is my favorite time of year.

** this is odd to me, because while i love it, it is also a very emotionally turbulent time of year.

** i am looking forward to the season premieres of NCIS and NCIS Los Angeles tonight.

** i will be watching and knitting along on my never ending project.

** c is still having a hard time with the morning drop off at school.

** but his teacher assures me, he is fine as soon as i leave.

** and that is where he should be at this stage in the game.

** most of the kids in his class are at least 2, if not 2.5.

** he is the youngest.

** i stopped weight watchers.

** no real reason.

** i still want to lose the extra weight.

** i am just hoping that yoga 3-4 times a week will help with that process.

** ok, i need to go put on some comfy clothes.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

i tell myself
that i create for myself.
that i just want to make beautiful things,
and it does not matter if people like them.

i tell myself this.
but it could not be further from the truth.

i want people to like what i make.
i want them to HAVE to have a lucends product.

i want them to be moved
by the fabric
the color
the design
or my story.

it is easy to put
my product online.
i don't see the reaction,
good or bad.
it is passive.

it is harder to apply to a show.
first, there is the process.
will they like it?
will they accept me?

then the actual show
will i stand there all day
and not make a single sale.
will people think my stuff i ugly?

today, ph and i spent
the day at artist row at the public market.
it was a perfect fall day.
sunny, crisp, perfect.
and i was validated.

the response to my work
was very positive.
i made some sales.
i gave away alot of business cards.
i met some great people.
i had some awesome conversations.
and i am inspired to keep creating.

thank you to all who support
my creative endeavors.

a moment

Friday, September 16, 2011

dear chace

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

my dear sweet chace,

as you move one month closer to your two year birthday, you are beginning to assert your will more and more every day. just yesterday you did not like the snack i selected for you, after a bit of back and forth i realized that wanted pitas and hummus for a snack. once i figured it out, you gave me the biggest smile. you know what you want.

you started montessori this week. a milestone no doubt. you seem to like it, you don't like it when i leave, but i think you settle in quickly. it is alot for you to take in. i know your mind is moving at a warp speed and absorbing everything like a sponge. when i pick you up from school you talk very very fast, trying your best to tell me every little detail about your day.

you have two new words this week: "car" and "garbage" and have learned to flush the toilet. you take great pleasure in this simple act. you continue to love your books and have a new fascination with dinosaurs.  you have started to eat meat. hooray!

you had a grand time in santa fe with your yaya and pappous. you did have your token ear infection, which seems to happens every time we fly to higher elevation. you loved feeding the koi in the pond, picking the flowers and unlimited supply of ceiling fans.

i love this picture of you. you have such a look of determination and curiosity on your face. this was at the children's museum in santa fe. it was such a hands on place and you loved every minute of it.

you are such a sweet child with an unlimited supply of love. your laugh is the best sound i have ever heard and fills my heart with such joy.

happy 19th month my best sweet boy!

love you

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

** c does not want to nap today.

** he is in his crib rolling around and talking.

** sorry, c you are not coming out of your room until 3.

** i sound like my mom.

**it is so weird having him at school in the morning.

** i got so much work done today.

** it is a scott miller day, today.

** my hair is out of control.

** i have decided to grow it back out.

** i think i might be wearing alot of hats this winter.

**i am knitting myself a sweater.

** it might take all winter.

**it was so good to get back to yoga.

** but boy am i sore.

** update, c finally asleep.

** ok time for mamma to work.

** happy tuesday.

a new groove

Monday, September 12, 2011

we are in a new groove
here on newberry lane.
c started montessorri
this morning.

he goes 5 days a week
for 3 hours.
he did great!
no tears were shed
by c or his mama.

this means that i can
grocery shop by myself,
run errands,
go to scott miller,
and more importantly
sew, sew, sew.

i have two shows coming up.
one september 18th
and the other november 5th.
both are here in rochester.
i applied to one other show,
and should know if i was accepted
in a couple of weeks.

since i have a lot of
work to make,
i am going to create
a sewing schedule
to guide my creating process.

a definite new groove.

where were you?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

where were you when the world stopped turning?

i was teaching a class
of freshman students
at Rochester Institute of Technology.

they were in
their 2nd week of classes
experiencing a new life,
a new world, and gaining
new independence.

the world was about
to change in an unthinkable,
unfathomable and unexpected way.

how all of our
lives changed that
september day.

where were you when the world stopped turning?

the most wonderful time of the year

Saturday, September 10, 2011

its the most wonderful time of the year...

no, i am not getting in
the holiday spirit early,
i am talking about college football.

the beginning of the
college football season
is a day i look forward to
as soon as the last bowl game is played.

college football means
the beginning of fall,
comfort food,
crisp, cold weather,
and a return to knitting.

college football  means
phone conversation,
text messages,
and email diatribes
the subject is
the games both good and bad.

college football means
a sense of community,
a feeling of family,
a sense of triumph,
and the feeling of despair.

but most of all,
college football means hope.
a hope that on any given saturday
the unexpected, the unbelievable,
and the unthinkable is bound to happen.

a moment or two

Friday, September 9, 2011


Thursday, September 8, 2011

i am home.
did you miss me?
i missed blogging.
but i think i needed
some time off.

after a very long day,
an unexpected fuel stop
in oklahoma city
and 5 hours in the atlanta airport,
we are home.

and it feels good.

we had a wonderful time
full of fun, laughs, outings
and a little sickness.
c got an insane amount of school clothes.
his mama got clothes and fabric.
i took over 300 pictures.
we ate amazing food.
and enjoyed the last days of summer.

today, i am doing laundry
making lists,
trying to get organized,
enjoying the hint of fall in the air,
and working my way back into
our rhythm of life.

so glad to be back.
i missed you.