heavy heart

i was going to tell you about the show today, give you a sneak peak. but there is something more pressing. the sneak peak can wait.
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dr and mrs j,

i don't really know you.
we have met once.
but i know about you
through my parents.

i know your pain.
how your heart
is broken into a million pieces.

i know the feeling
of not being able to breathe
because the pain
is too much to bear.

you wonder how you go on,
how you put one foot in
front of the other.

you wonder if your heart
will ever mend.
if life will ever be the same.

you think for a brief moment
that it would be easier
if you could go in a hole
and never come out.

that there is no way that
you can continue to live
with this pain,
this broken heart.

i know all of this.

but i am here to tell you.
that you while your heart
will never be the same.
you will find joy again.

you never get over
losing your child.
it leaves a hole
in your heart
that is incapable of closing.

but it will mend.

people will say
the most awful things,
because they don't know
what to say.
you are living
their worst nightmare.

but you will continue
to live.

grief comes in waves.
at inconvenient times,
in the most public places.
and when you think you
can not take it anymore
you will be able to breathe.

and you will find peace.

the road ahead of you
is not easy.
it is difficult and it is long.
and i am pretty sure
it lasts a lifetime.

but with the support
of family and friends
and most importantly
each other
your heart can mend.

i am so sorry
you are on this journey.
my heart aches for you.
i am here if you need
anything.

and i know that my cooper
has found your son
and that they are watching over
our families.

sending you love and peace

xoxo