blown away

sometimes i just check out. my mind goes blank, its like i am trying to make myself disappear. but a lot of the time i am thinking about cooper. today while i was driving home, i was thinking about the day he died, the sequence of events of that morning, and the words that his doctors and nurses said to me. those are images that are forever burned in my memory. those words have forever marked me.

i am constantly in awe of how cooper marked and touched those he never met. like triesch, a family friend and amazing artist, who sent me this platter. i sobbed when i opened it, not because it made me sad, but because i realized how deeply others feel cooper's loss. that realization makes me feel less alone in this journey. it is easy to think that i am the only one who hurts or is trying to make sense of why cooper died. but this amazing gift of triesch's heart and soul demonstrates that my precious husband and i are not walking this road alone. that losing cooper is felt by all who know and love us.

"show me the mark that death made" are written on the back of the platter. these six words sum it up so perfectly. cooper's life and death have marked me in so many ways, but the mark of his death cuts the deepest. triesch's gift shows me how cooper has marked many people and that blows me away.