i have had the heart
on my mind lately.
both the physical heart
and the figurative heart.
cooper's imperfect heart.
chace's perfect heart.
both the size of a walnut
when they were born.
this organ that is
in the center of the body.
the life force,
the work horse
of the human body,
my heart that i guarded
so carefully
until i met ph.
it was battered
and bruised over the years.
leaving me cautious
about leaving it unprotected.
i learned how much
my heart could love
when my boys were born.
and how much it could break, hurt and ache
when cooper died.
i learned how through
hard work, love, and patience
it can mend.
not heal but mend.
stitched together carefully.
i learned that despite
such a trauma,
it can love completely
again, if not more fully than before.
in yoga, the goal is
to be centered, grounded.
i start each practice
at heart center
and come back to throughout the class.
opening up.
being unguarded
exposed.
vulnerable.
and when i think i can
not open up anymore.
i think of cooper.
our hearts forever connected.
a string pulling my heart
closer to his.
and by opening up,
i am closer to him
and thus a better parent,
wife and friend.
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