standing

"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand"

these are some of the lyrics to baileys favorite song. yes, you read that right bailey. he hears the first note of this song and he starts singing. now if you havent ever seen or heard a 135 pound great pyrenees sing, you are missing out. it doesnt matter how many times jamey and i hear bailey sing, we end up in a fit of laughter with tears rolling down our face. maybe its the way he tilts his head to the music, or how he walks right up to the speaker or how intense and focused he is about his singing... whatever it is, it provides comic relief. and we will take all the comic relief we can get.

as you know, i am a lyric girl. and i have listened to these lyrics before, but usually i am laughing too hard to really listen. over the weekend we needed some laughter to lighten the mood. but bailey wasnt in the mood to sing his best, he gave a subpar performance, but it allowed me to really listen to the words.....

and by listening i realized that they spoke to where i am these days... that despite the pain, the sadness, the utter heartache, the anger, the days when i want to slip down the drain with the bath water and disappear... i am standing. and that each day that i stand, i heal.

and so i will continue to stand. and hopefully bailey will continue sing.