life as i know it

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do."- Eleanor Roosevelt

i found this quote today while i was searching through one of the blogs i read, marta writes, and it struck a chord with me. this is life as i know it these days.

yesterday i went to one of my local yarn shops, one that i frequented a great deal while i was pregnant, cooper has a large number of hand knit pieces. i knew that the trip was going to be difficult, that the owner was going to be so sad and there would be tears, but i also knew that i needed to go, that i had to stop and look fear in the face. that i have to tell coopers story to those who knew i was pregnant, but are not a part of our inner circle. that each time i share the story, i heal a little more.

the car ride over i could feel the emotion building and i sat in the parking lot for a few minutes before i was able to get myself out of the car. it was as i expected it to be, but it was also a moment where i gained strength, by telling coopers story, my story, life as it i know it, i became a little stronger. and that strength will enable me to do the next thing that i think i can not do.

and so goes my life as i know it these days, each experience where i have to tackle my fears head on is imploring me do the thing i thought i couldnt do, which is live without my sweet precious cooper.