special birdie

i have a cooper bird hanging in my sewing room.
it is a special birdie.
athena made it for me.
and i couldn't part with it.

yesterday chace and i had a conversation
it went something like this....

chace: mommy whats that ? (pointing at the bird)
me: it mommy's special birdie.
chace: i want a special birdie.
me: well, it's mommy's special birdie ( my brain spinning fast, knowing that i am not going to give him that bird)

then i had a  thought.
i had a bird in the closet.
the same one that he held
during his newborn session.

me: mommy has a special birdie for you
chace: my special birdie ( emphasis on my)
chace: i want special birdie to go to school.
me: special birdie can go to school.

on the car ride to school.
i hear chace in the back seat talking.

chace: this is my special birdie. i love him. fly away special birdie. fly away. i kiss him. i hug him.
me: i look bag and he is hugging special birdie. tears are welling up in my eyes.

in that moment, both my boys were in the car.
connecting to each other.
my heart ached and was full at the same time.