holiday rush

this weekend marks
the beginning of the holiday season.
although, the stores would like
you to believe that it began,
well before halloween.

there was a time
that i welcomed the
official start to the holidays.

now, i don't get
my holiday rush until
the 19th of december.
then i am fully immersed
in holiday cheer.

today, friends and family
are traveling, cooking, preparing
and being together.

for me, today is just another day.
with the exception that ph has the day off
and chace did not have school.
it doesn't feel like thanksgiving.

tomorrow, friends and family
will cook, eat, gather, and tell stories.
tomorrow ph and i will reflect,
be together, hold our sons close,
and go through the motions of thanksgiving.

while cooper's birthday is not until sunday.
i associate thanksgiving with his birth,
making it a much more emotion filled day.

a day filled with gratitude, reflection, heartache,
joy, hope, and thankfulness that despite a loss so great
our family is still standing.