dear cooper

my dear sweet precious cooper,

happy birthday sweet boy. today, you would have turned three years old. some days, it is so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that i will write you letters on your birthday that you will never read, that i imagine what you would be like, and who you would become.  i miss you every single day and more than i can stand on your birthday.

i wonder what kind of birthday party you would be having? what would be your favorite gift? who your friends would be? would you want a chocolate or vanilla cake? there are so many questions i have, that i will never know the answers.

i do get a glimpse of you in your brother. he has a bit of a temper, a stubborn streak that you showed to us in your short life. whenever it comes out, i just chuckle and recognize it as you checking in. but make no mistake, you two are very different children and have very different personalities. i am reminded of this daily.

this summer, i started practicing yoga. when i began, i never thought it would bring me closer to you. but every time i step on my mat, i feel your heart connected to mine, an invisible string pulling us together. it is time that i need, it has created a sacred space and has helped me heal on a deeper level.

today, i am in austin at a craft show. your uncle luke is here with me. it is a pretty big deal that i was accepted. and despite the fact that i am focused on selling, you are with me, on my mind. after all, lucends exist because of you. i started sewing because of you and i keep creating to honor you and the gift you gave me.

happy birthday.
i love and miss you each and every day.

xoxo
mama