i will tell you

a number of people have asked me how i feel about the fact that we are having another boy....so figured i would oblige and tell you......

to be honest i am somewhat relieved it is a boy. i mean, i have all boy stuff and the thought that a girl would have to ride around in a blue and brown polka dot stroller made me feel a little bad for her. and believe me i would have been totally against a pink stroller. i had decided to get rid of most of cooper's clothes and crib bedding, knowing that buying clothes for this baby would give me something to look forward to, but all the other gear we decided to keep. alot of it is still in boxes, it just didn't make sense to get rid of it. so on some level, knowing this baby is a boy, makes things easier and much more economical.

but honestly, gender didn't really matter. everyone always says they just want a "healthy baby", which i am sure is true, but that phrase doesn't have merit until you have a baby that is not healthy. since the majority of babies born are healthy, its easy to say "i want a healthy baby, but i hope its a boy." when you have experienced what we have, those two little words take on a whole new meaning. all i care about is that this baby gets a clean bill of health.

i think people ask me that question because they wonder if it will be hard for us to have another boy? will this baby look like cooper? and will that be difficult? what emotions will that bring up? until this baby lives longer than cooper, its going to be hard. gender plays no role in that fact. this is a different baby, with a different personality and temperament. i am sure that he will look like cooper in some ways, but in the end he will be his own person.

and really, i am not sure if i could have handled having a girl who wanted to play princess and wear pink all the time.