dear chace

my dear sweet chace!

happy 17 months!

you look so grown up in this picture as you watch the birds on the beach. you could have watched those birds for hours. i know we gave them a good workout. you followed them until i told you needed to let the birds rest. you love birds. i think this is your connection to your brother; on some level you know we called him "birdie" and that whenever we see a bird we say, "there's your brother."

you had a great time at the beach. you were fascinated with the shells and sand. you were particularly fond of the hermit crab that cole caught. you loved hanging out with your new friends. they were so great about sharing their toys and books with you. cole was very curious as to why you did and did not do certain things. it was so cute. i am sure you will be lifelong friends.

as usual, you were a great traveler. your dad and i are so thankful. i know i tell you that alot; but, someday you will understand what a gift it is that you travel well.

you are currently taking swim lessons. you are learning to love the water again. today, we went underwater and you were not even phased by the act. you are very good at kicking your feet. whenever the instructor comes over, you tilt your head and smile. as soon as she moves on, you do whatever is was she was trying to get you to do. we have another week of lessons.

you talk non-stop. i do not know what you are saying. but i know you are telling me something.  i can not wait until we speak the same language. you continue to love books. your favorite these days is  "the very hungry caterpillar." we read it over and over and over and over.

your favorite part of the day is when your dad gets home. the two of you spend time in the yard, checking out the plants, pulling weeds, driving the lawn mower and watering the yard. your face lights up when you see his truck pull into the driveway.

you continue to bring us joy. you are so sweet. there is nothing better than one of your snuggles.  every day is adventure that i look forward taking with you.

love you

mama

a moment

tuesday tidbits

** c and i started a mommy and me swim class yesterday.

** it is everyday for two weeks.

** he seems to like it.

** did i tell you that he has 4 molars coming it at once?

** i think i told you that, but i need to tell you again.

** lucends bags are now being sold at w3ll people in austin.

** if you live in austin, go get yourself one.

** my cousin in law is one of the co-founder's of this awesome all natural make-up line.

** they will be in QVC friday night at 9pm CST.

** i will be watching and purchasing.

**i am going back on weight watchers.

** i have gained some weight.

** it is due to the fact that i eat whatever c doesnt eat at meal time.

** not a good habit.

** i am looking forward to yoga on thursday.

** i have some new ideas floating in my head for products.

** hello cute hooded baby towel.

** it is very hot here today.

** we will be pool bound after nap time.

** have yourself a happy tuesday.

sun salutations, sweat and tears

thursday night i attended
a new to yoga class.
it is a three week class
for those who are brand new to yoga.

i was nervous
intimidated
and a little skeptical
about the idea of practicing yoga.

i told myself
it would be good for me.
it would help my back.
and give me some "me" time.

it was less awkward
than i thought it would be
the teacher was great
and i cant wait to go back next week.

the only real hiccup
was that i cried.
yes, i said i cried.

it was the end of class
and erica was taking us through
the meditation part of yoga.
i dont know what it was
but the tears started.

i tried to keep it in check
so that people would not
know i was crying and think
i was a total nut case.

but i am pretty sure
that erica noticed
the tears.

later that evening
i fell apart at the seams.
i was a mess.

i missed cooper.
my heart hurt.
i was sad.
i was angry.

the thing is,
my heart is scarred forever.
i do not have time
to think about what happened.
cooper's death does not
consume my every thought,
like it used to.

but it is still there.
it will always be there.
and sometimes it becomes too big
for the box that i keep it in
and the emotions overflow.

thursday night
i was still enough
to hear the box rattling,
for the emotions to break free,
and the tears roll.

i think that the mental practice
of yoga will be
just as important as the physical practice.
i need to learn to be still
without coming completely unglued.

a moment

tuesday tidbits on wednesday

** i hope you all had a great holiday weekend.

** we had a fabulous time in florida.

** but it is good to be home.

** we arrived home late last night.

** so today is getting back on track day.

** which includes loads of laundry.

** c loved loved loved the beach.

** it was so fun to watch him playing in the sand and sea.

** ph is picking the dogs up tonight.

** it is so quiet without them.

** if you haven't checked out the new online store, stop by and let me know what you think.

** i am ready to get back to sewing, but need to organize my sewing board.

** we are having cashew chicken for dinner.

** so good.

** thats it for now, need to get back to laundry.

happy 4th

we are off to florida.
hot, steamy, sunny florida.
i am looking forward
to the heat.
it has not been very warm here.

we are going to spend
some time with some
dear friends and their two boys.

there will be swimming.
playing in the sand.
watching fireworks.
visting the aquarium.
and lots of fun.

i hope you have a
safe and happy weekend.
see you back here in wednesday!

xoxo