a reminder

i needed this reminder today.
xoxo.

chace's circus

tuesday tidbits

** we are a medical mess in this house.

** i took chace to the dr today after a week of various forms of illness.

** the prognosis, nothing a little augmentin can not fix.

** i am feeling better, but my belly button is still sore.

** i miss yoga like crazy.

** i have a follow up appt. with the surgeon next week.

** i am hoping she will clear me for yoga.

** fingers crossed.

** a two plus year project is coming to a close.

** will share when it is complete.

** i will be a vendor at the Mayday Underground Craft show.

** it is april 28th at the village gate.

** this also happens to be my birthday.

** diet coke still doesn't taste good.

** but i am drinking one in the morning for the caffeine.

** flavored bubble water the rest of the day.

** those who know me, know that is an amazing feat.

** chace loves to say "hug me".

** he has become very clingy lately.

** i don't know if it is the age or the fact that i was in hospital for 3 days or both.

** winter has returned this week.

** we had a freeze last night and it turned  all the magnolia leaves brown.

** this  makes me sad.

** happy tuesday!

public service annoucement

i try not to be judgemental in this space.
i try not to question other mother' parenting skills.
i try to mind my own business.
but i witnessed an incident last week
that i can not let go, no matter how hard i try.

last week we had summer like weather.
ph and i were picking chace up from school
and i noticed the car park next to me
had a sleeping child in the car.
there was no parent, the car was not running
and the windows were cracked about an inch.

really?
do you not know that you car can die in the car like that?
i didn't know what to do, i was so shocked.
the next day i expressed my concern to the head of the school
and told her if i saw it again i was calling the police.

i don't ever want to say that people don't deserve children,
but when i see them treating them so carelessly,
that is all i can think.

i think it goes without saying,
but for my peace of mind i will say it.
please don't leave your children in the car.

and that is my public service announcement for the day.

a three day trip

i have just returned from a three day trip.
it was not a quick get away to the beach
or a three day shopping spree in NYC.
it was not three days of pampering at a spa
or a cultural weekend in toronto.

over the last three days
i have spent some time
in an emergency department,
the an operating room
and a hospital room.

the long and short of it is
that i had appendicitis
and had an emergency appendectomy
late monday afternoon.

it was routine.
nothing out of the ordinary.

i will tell you this
my two c-sections were less painful.
but i am feeling better today.
the hardest part is not picking up chace.
they told me no lifting for 2 weeks.
ya, right.

i digress.

there was one very
funny thing that happened
during my stay.

after they admitted me
on monday there was still some
time before i went into surgery,
so they transported me from the ED
to my room.

now, the only time i have been in the hospital
is when i had my babies.
so i thought you always had a private room.
the transport guy was wheeling me
onto my floor and i was stricken with panic.

i realized that i had to share a room.
i looked at ph with pleading eyes
please dont make me stay with a stranger.
he told me it would be ok.
i was not so convinced.

they proceeded to get me settled
and over the course of the next 45 minutes
we heard the following coming from the other side of the room
" can you get me a bedpan and some towels?
my sister is going to streak my hair when she comes to visit?"

ph and i stare at each other in disbelief.

then we heard from the husband
who was close to 400 pounds with long black greasy hair,
"BELCH, i drank that grape juice too fast, BELCH"

really? are you serious?
ok what adult drinks grape juice at 4 in the afternoon?

we inquire about a private room.
they tell as that they would work on it.

as it is time to take me down to surgery
i decide to go to bathroom.
it took the nurse  5 minutes to clear
a path from to the bathroom door
because of all the clutter and junk that they had with them.
and they just looked at her with disdain.

i had a private room when i returned from surgery.
whew.

in honor of st. patricks day!

**** this was originally posted on 3/17/10. i thought i would repost. it is st patricks  day after all.***

i am not a big fan of st. patty's day. i am sure i have some irish blood in me somewhere, and i know that precious husband has some. but i am not one to dress in green or eat corn beef and cabbage today.

don't get me wrong, i have tried to get into the spirit over the years by drinking green beer, sporting some shade of green and even participating in a st patty's day pub crawl when i lived inbreckenridge after college. but to me, its just another day.

when i think of st. patrick's day, i am immediately transported to my childhood. i was in the first or second grade at south elementary inbrownwood texas. i loved clothes from a very early age. i can even tell you what my first piece of ralph lauren clothing was, a very definitive moment in a young girl's life. it was a sunday evening and i was standing in my closet, on elizabeth drive, looking at my clothes, trying to decided what to wear to school the next day. not liking any of my options, i complained to my mother that i didn't have any thing to wear, bad move on my part. she decided that she was going to try to break my budding fashionista spirit and teach me a valuable lesson. she told me that i could have two outfits to wear all week, and then i would really know what it was like not to have any clothes. talk about humiliating. she picked out two izod outfits that were similar in style, but different colors, one was pink and one was green. they consisted of pants and a striped short sleeve shirt. she held true to her word and made me wear those two outfits all week to school.

i remember that this lesson happened to fall on st. patrick's day and i was very glad that one of my outfits was green so that i wouldn't get pinched by some boy or made fun for not wearing green.

i am not sure if her lesson worked. i still complain about not having anything to wear, that is after all a fashionista's prerogative. but maybe i didn't complain as loudly or maybe i was a little more appreciative of the clothes that were hanging in my closet.

happy st. patty's day to those of you who celebrate the color green!

centered

tuesday tidbits

** chace has become very picky about what he wears.

** we had an epic battle getting dressed this morning.

** it is spring here all week.

** yay for spring.

** the story about the solider who killed the afghan civilians makes me so sad.

** i think that i am getting me creative streak back.

** i feel inspired.

** we have a parent teacher conference on friday.

** this means that there is no school thursday and friday.

** march madness is here!

** do you fill out brackets?

** the only time i watch college basketball is during march madness.

** i played basketball in junior high school.

** i was not very good.

** my bff ashley was very good.

** i need a tan.

** chace is going to be in a wedding in november.

** the bride was in my wedding, and i was in her mother's wedding.

** keeping up tradition.

** i have to buy printer ink on my way to yoga.

** i dont like buying printer ink.

** what's new with you?

** happy tuesday.

familiar routine

as you know, ph is home
during the winter months.
december to march
to be exact.

it is nice
to have an extra set
of hands during
the day.

it is nice
for ph to spend
some quality time
with chace.

this much togetherness
does not lend itself
to some of our better
married moments.

it is always a rough
transition which
is accompanied by the holidays
and all that entails.

we usually settle into
a routine, by the end of february.
just in time for work to start back up again.

ph worked a little last week,
but since we have such nice weather
he is back at work full time this week.

chace and i are back to being a team.
he seems to behave better when he is
with one parent at a time, not both if us.

so the days will run a little smoother.
i will become more structured.
and we will fall into a familiar pattern.

it is what it is

it is what it is....
this was my grandmother,
mary ellen wallace's favorite saying.

it has been a recurrent message
for me the past few days.
perhaps she is trying to
tell me something.

i spend a great deal
of time in my head.
sometimes this is a productive
place to be and
other times, it just makes
things more complicated.

i am a thinker, an analyzer,
a creator of story lines in my head.
i am a master of the what if game
as well as the worst case scenario game.

the last several months
i have been exhausted.
i am talking beyond tired.
now, i realize that i need more sleep
than the average person.
but i was alarmed at the amount
of time i was spending sleeping.

i have been in a general funk.
just flat. nothing really wrong.
nothing really right.
just here going through the motions.
i didnt feel like myself.
i was tired of it.
i just wanted to feel like me again.

being the thinker that i am,
i had convinced myself that something
was wrong, i mean really wrong with me.
i am the daughter of an oncologist,
so i naturally always think that i have cancer.

lucky for me, my dr understands
this irrational fear of mine.
i went to see her on monday to express
my concern and suggest that i would like
some blood drawn to make sure nothing was wrong.

after she agreed and wrote the order.
she looked at me and said
"you now, it may just be where you are right now.
you have a toddler and it makes total sense that you
are tired. this will not last forever. it is what it is."

(or the record, my blood work is normal
my vitamin d is low, but that can be fixed.)

later that night, the message in yoga
was simplicity.
telling me that i need to stop
making life more complicated than it needs to be.

it is what it is.
and that is okay.

tuesday tidbit

** yoga was awesome tonight.

** the message was simplicity.

** needed to hear that today.

** sometimes, ok alot of times, i make it more complicated than it needs to be.

** i attribute this to my ability to over think things.

** i was not accepted into the art on the green in north carolina.

** i was accepted into Renegade Craft Fair in Austin.

** i am very excited!

** i am getting a cold.

** boo!

** ph is making panini as i type.

** i am working on some custom quilts for a friend.

** the basis of the quilt is her daughters baby clothes.

** i am super excited and can not wait to make one for chace.

** we are watching the voice tonight.

** we watched hockey last night.

** i finished the quilt for the fundraising auction at chace's school.

** tomorrow it is supposed to be 60.

** yay!!

commitment to patience

i have been short on patience lately.
this troubles me, and
causes me to be harder on myself
than the norm.

being patient does not always
comes easily for me.
that is why it is one of the words
tattooed on my arm in tibetan.
a constant reminder.

it is the usual run of the mill annoyances
that put me over the edge.
incompetence, poor drivers.
the old people at wegmans.
the slow checkout person at target.
poor service at a restuarant.
you know the usual stuff.

but lately my patience has been tested
with my two year old.
this troubles me.

the tantrums in the middle of the drive way
make me nuts.
the clinging to my leg while i am trying to cook dinner
makes me squirm.
the dumping of food on the floor for oh the 100th time
sends me into orbit.
and the words, "no mommy, i do it" with a very defiant tone
makes me cringe.

again, this troubles me.

but today in yoga i made a commitment to
patience, to not let anything steal it away from me.
even my precocious child.
i vowed to stay true to my commitment
one breath at a time.

despite chace's attempt to derail my efforts
this afternoon.
i was able to breath through it
and we had a very busy but pleasant afternoon.

so i will wake up tomorrow
and make the same commitment:
to remain patient, no matter what life throws at me.

so, what are you committing to?