parenting moment

there are a few messages
that keep recurring in my yoga practice:
living your truth, being honest
with where you are and being vulnerable.

i am trying to take my practice
off my mat, to use what
i learn in class and
apply it to life outside the yoga studio.

today, no the few days,
i have been presented with
this opportunity.

incidentally, this opportunity
happens to coincide with one my
less than stellar parenting moments.

chace has been sick.
forever.
and forever.
we went back to the doctor monday
and were given an antibiotic.

this medicine has turned my child
into a a very grouchy child.
he only wants ph and
throws himself on the floor
when i come near him.

he wants nothing to do with me.

i am trying not to get
my feelings hurt,
but i am.

i am jealous that ph
is the only one that can console him.

i feel useless.
there is no division of labor.
it is all falling squarely
on the shoulders of ph.

last night, chace was up
every two hours
( we switched medicine today)
but the only one who could
settle him down was ph.

because i feel hurt, jealous and useless
i am losing patience.

what happened to my sweet happy go lucky child?
when will this end?
when will i have my toddler back.?

like i said, not my most stellar of parenting moments.
but i am trying to take my practice off my mat.
to be vulnerable, honest and live my truth.

this is my truth this week.
and i am learning to take it
one breath at a time.