21 memos from your child

Monday, June 6, 2011

i saw this on jora of domestic reflections blog yesterday and it moved me. i felt the need to share, mainly as a reminder to myself, but it is really powerful.


21 Memos From Your Child

1. Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not have all I ask for. 
I am only testing you. 
2. Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. 
I prefer it, it makes me feel secure. 
3. Don’t let me form bad habits. 
I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages. 
4. Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. 
It only makes me behave stupidly “big”. 
5. Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. 
I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private. 
6. Don’t make me feel all of my mistakes are sins. 
It upsets my sense of values. 
7. Don’t protect me from consequences. 
I need to learn the painful way, sometimes. 
8. Don’t be upset when I say “I hate you”. 
It isn’t you I hate, but your power to thwart me. 
9. Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments. 
Sometimes they get me the attention I need. 
10. Don’t nag. 
If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf. 
11. Don’t forget that I can’t explain myself as well as I should like.
 This is why I’m not always very accurate.
12. Don’t make rash promises. 
Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken. 
13. Don’t tax my honesty too much. 
I am easily frightened into telling lies. 
14. Don’t be inconsistent. 
That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you. 
15. Don’t tell me my fears are silly. 
They are terribly real to me and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand. 
16. Don’t put me off when I ask questions. 
If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere. 
17. Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. 
It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither. 
18. Don’t ever think it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. 
An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you. 
19. Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up. 
It must be very difficult to keep pace with me, but please try. 
20. Don’t forget I love experimenting. 
I couldn’t do without it, so please be patient with it.
21. Don’t forget that I can’t thrive without lots of understanding and unconditional love,
 but I don’t need to tell you that, do I? 

original author unknown


  1. These are totally awesome, especially since some parents today would rather be a good friend than a real parent to their kids....but the last parts of the sentences didn't show up. Is there any way you could try it again? This is SO worth copying in its entirety. Thanks!

  2. Again.....thanks! I've posted this on my wall on Facebook trying to spread this wisdom. :)