today i saw cooper.
while i was sitting in the dentist chair.
he was outside at the bird feeder.
strategically placed in the patient's eye sight.
he was in the form of a yellow finch.
he looked like the bird recently tattooed on my wrist.
he came to me for two reasons.
one to calm my anxiety about being at the dentist.
two to tell me that the bean was just fine
at home with his uncle luke.
my brother was staying with the bean
while i went to the dentist.
bean was asleep when i left,
but i knew he would not stay asleep.
i did not want to seem nervous
about leaving him.
but i was, a little.
seeing cooper calmed me down.
i survived my cleaning.
was given a cavity free report.
uncle luke and bean did just fine.
uncle luke even changed a
poopy diaper.
i love how cooper
knows exactly when
his mama needs to see him.
its an amazing gift
he continues to give me.
Hi Lucinda,
ReplyDeleteI found my way here via Marta's blog. I just read back through your entire journey of grief and healing (so far, I think it's a never ending process). I lost my father in September of 2008 very unexpectedly due to a heart defect. He was only 54. He and my mother had a special thing with hummingbirds and she collects them now, much as you do for Cooper. Funny how I see parallels between you and me. I had envisioned a tattoo for myself very similar to what you got (a hummingbird silhouette combined with my dad's signature). I suppose our experiences are so different and yet inherently the same. I lost a father, you lost a son, and yet i see the same ups and downs of pain, anger, denial, shock, and amazing signs that he is looking down on you - all lit by brief moments of joy and even laughter. It's a rough road to travel and I wish you all the peace and love in the world. I will definitely keep reading.