have baby will travel

..... if it were only that easy.

the airline industry does not make it easy to travel with wee ones. but i do heart delta, or at least their flight crew.

**tsa security has to be the least baby/kid friendly bunch of people i have ever encountered. the tsa worker who had a slight resemblance to atila the hun, kicked off our day of travels in style. she didn't bother to tell me that EVERYTHING had to go through the xray machine until i was ready to walk through the scanner. she then proceeded to peck away at mom and i in a most annoying fashion. you know you have to take your shoes off? is that blanket attached to the car seat? the car seat has to be upside down? is there a reason you have two bins? give me a minute, atila. she then proceeded to tell my mom she didn't understand the security "process". that is like telling the pope he isn't catholic.

**why aren't there changing tables in airline bathrooms? i never really contemplated this until i was faced with a blowout diaper three quarters of the way into our first flight. once i realized that the bean had pooped, my biggest fear became a reality, and was compounded by the fact that i was sitting in first class. i quickly grabbed the bean and the diaper bag and walked to the bathroom, intent on mastering the art of changing a diaper while in flight. i put my stylish changing pad on the toilet seat, laid the bean down and got to work. it was evident that the blowout diaper was going to kick my ass. there was poop every where, all over his onesie, down or up his back. now, i did have the foresight to pack an extra change of clothes for the bean, but they were in another bag in some overhead compartment. but there was no way that the onesie could remain on the bean, so off it went and then bean went shirtless the remainder of the flight. as for the poopy onesie, well it can be found in recycling bin in the atlanta airport.

**news flash... each person on the flight PAID for their ticket, including me. so i am sorry if my screaming baby disrupted your 3 hour flight in first class. i had the pleasure of sitting next to "jack" on the second flight of the day. he was clearly annoyed that i had the nerve to bring my 12 week baby on the plane, much less sit in first class. so when bean started screaming, his annoyance became more visible with each cry. he had headphones on, but each time the bean screamed, he tensed up, huffed and slammed his book shut. this went on for about an hour and culminated in him grabbing his head in anguish over my screaming child. i decided to get out of my seat and walk around, hoping to quiet the screaming bean. when i asked him to let me out, you would have thought i was asking him to hold my son. the flight crew was made aware of "jack's" lovely demeanor and instantly had my back. i heart the delta flight crew. there was nothing redeeming about" jack" except for the fact that when i returned to my seat he was watching "justified."

**so, i have baby and will travel, but not without ph or a very stiff drink.