cooper's flock update

today i dropped
the last batch of
cooper's birds at the hospital.

can you believe it?

it was hard.
to be in that space.
the memories came
rushing back.

it was hard to
randomly run into
cooper's surgeon.
(even though i had a premonition that i was going to see him today)
i have not seen him
since we met to go over the autopsy.

over 400 birds
have been given to
families on surgery day
for the past 2.5 years.

thank you to all who contributed to the flock.

cooper has been on my mind.
i miss him terribly today.
i have mixed emotions
about no longer having a box
of birds in my basement.

i knew this day would come
that the birds would not reproduce
in my basement.
but i kind of wish they did.

they have brought
comfort to families on a
very difficult day.

the families do not know
me or my story.
simply, that someone who has been
in their shoes is thinking about them.

jen and i were talking
today about what the
next move is for cooper's flock.
i am torn.

what do you think?

if you want
to create birds, i will love
you for it.
if you do not want to,
i will still love you.

you decide.

a moment

tuesday tidbits

** i am not quite sure how it is tuesday again.

** i feel like i just wrote this post.

** did you hear the news?

** lucends will be a vendor at renegade craft fair in austin nov 26 and 27.

** i am beyond excited.

**chace has settled into school.

** no more tears in the morning.

** he has learned to flush the toilet.

** an important skill for little boys to learn.

** i have started my sewing schedule.

** i am going to try very hard not to add new items to my list.

** but i am afraid this might be impossible.

** i had a mani/pedi yesterday at scott miller.

** i am wearing the color wicked.

** this afternoon, i am going to make homemade granola.

** thursday night, ph and i have to attend curriculum night at webster montessori.

** should be interesting.

** happy tuesday.

** back to the sewing machine.

magic backpack

i mentioned on tuesday
that i was doing
some personal sewing
this week, before i get in production
mode for my upcoming shows.

one of the things
that has been on my list
is this darling backpack
for chace.

i thought it would be
perfect for school
and traveling over the holidays.

i found the fabric
at the quilt shop in santa fe.
it has hippos all over it.

i am very proud of this
little backpack.
it was labor intensive
and i think it came out great.

but what makes me
the happiest
is chace loves it.

he ran into school
on friday to show
all the teachers his backpack.
he pointed to each hippo.
he was so proud.

yesterday,
we had a class nature walk
and he would not leave home
with out his backpack.
i took the opportunity
to snap so photos.

the breath

when was the last time
you paid attention to your breath?
i am referring to the breath
that moves in and out of your body.
your life force.

i have always taken
breath for granted.
never paid much attention
to it, until i started taking yoga.

it is the center of yoga.
the movements and poses
follow the breath.
we pay attention to the air moving
in and out of or body through
the nose.

i have noticed that when
a pose becomes challenging
i stop breathing.
i wonder if i do that off of my mat?

i have a hard time
at the end of class
being still,
letting my mind rest.

it wanders
i make list
i think about blog topics
sewing projects.
i stop following my breath.

last night, i made the commitment
to really try to stay present
at the end of class
to not wander.

i was not sure how
i was going to accomplish this task.
but i was committed to trying.

i found myself, saying the names of my boys.
cooper on in inhale.
chace on the exhale.

they are my life force.
my reason for being.
by focusing on their names
with each breath i was able
to stay present, in the moment,
on my mat.
and my mind rested.

this got me thinking
how much more would
i experience if i paid more
attention to the breath during the course
of my day?

so i will ask again
when was the last time
you paid attention to
your breath?

a moment

tuesday tidbits

** i have decided to sew projects for myself this week.

** things that have been on my "to do" list for a while.

** i will start my self imposed sewing schedule next week.

** i will know by then if i was accepted to the renegade craft fair  holiday show in austin.

** if i get in, you will hear me scream with delight, where ever you might be.

** it is fall around here and i love it so.

** besides christmas time, it is my favorite time of year.

** this is odd to me, because while i love it, it is also a very emotionally turbulent time of year.

** i am looking forward to the season premieres of NCIS and NCIS Los Angeles tonight.

** i will be watching and knitting along on my never ending project.

** c is still having a hard time with the morning drop off at school.

** but his teacher assures me, he is fine as soon as i leave.

** and that is where he should be at this stage in the game.

** most of the kids in his class are at least 2, if not 2.5.

** he is the youngest.

** i stopped weight watchers.

** no real reason.

** i still want to lose the extra weight.

** i am just hoping that yoga 3-4 times a week will help with that process.

** ok, i need to go put on some comfy clothes.