blown away

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

sometimes i just check out. my mind goes blank, its like i am trying to make myself disappear. but a lot of the time i am thinking about cooper. today while i was driving home, i was thinking about the day he died, the sequence of events of that morning, and the words that his doctors and nurses said to me. those are images that are forever burned in my memory. those words have forever marked me.

i am constantly in awe of how cooper marked and touched those he never met. like triesch, a family friend and amazing artist, who sent me this platter. i sobbed when i opened it, not because it made me sad, but because i realized how deeply others feel cooper's loss. that realization makes me feel less alone in this journey. it is easy to think that i am the only one who hurts or is trying to make sense of why cooper died. but this amazing gift of triesch's heart and soul demonstrates that my precious husband and i are not walking this road alone. that losing cooper is felt by all who know and love us.

"show me the mark that death made" are written on the back of the platter. these six words sum it up so perfectly. cooper's life and death have marked me in so many ways, but the mark of his death cuts the deepest. triesch's gift shows me how cooper has marked many people and that blows me away.


  1. What a beautiful gift and expression of love.
    You and Jamey are not alone...


  2. I want to remember those words too for always. Thank you for sharing the lovely plate and words. Also, for giving us the gift of how you are, feeling, thinking, remembering.
    Even people who don't know you love you, because they too have walked this path of grief.

  3. What a beautiful gift. Even though I am just a blogger reader, Cooper's life and your loss touch me. They have changed the way I enjoy my children, I try to be so very grateful for each moment that I share with their precious spirits.

  4. You are a wonderful mother and woman! Thanks for this lovely words. My english is bad, sorry!
    Claudine from Switzerland

  5. what a beautiful gift. i hope your day goes better today luc. we missed you last night. xo

  6. It's a wonderful gift of remembrance and hope! Thanks for sharing!
    Katarina from Switzerland

  7. WOW I have goosebumps right now...I was reading this and thinking of how beautiful cooper is and then out of no where on the TV this song just rang so loudly in my ears..
    "Im on my way, Im on my way.. home sweet home"
    so I googled the lyrics to that song and WOW I think he was singing while I was reading his mommies words. I had to tell you amazing!
    Love you

  8. Your words always touch my heart.

    I gave you an award on my blog.