things i am afraid to tell you
Thursday, June 28, 2012
this week athena had this post on her blog.
it moved me, spoke to me and made me think
so i thought i would play along.
i am about to jump off into the unknown with my business
and it scares me to death.
it makes me feel vulnerable, inadequate and totally overwhelmed.
(dont worry i will soon let you in on what i have been working on).
i am terrified of failure.
i am a southern girl at heart.
there is part of my soul that longs to be in texas.
that feels so homesick for place that is the core of my being.
and despite living in new york state for 14 years,
i still feel like a fish out of water.
there are days when i am so busy with chace
that i dont think about cooper
and this makes me feel incredibly guilty.
i get very cranky when i do not have time to be creative.
it seems that lately there are not enough hours in the day
to accomplish what i want....this leads to me being in a funk.
the only way to come out of the funk, is a meltdown.
i listen to my music really loud when i am working.
and sometimes will play a song over and over and over.
i am afraid that i will never master crow, half moon, or full wheel.
even though i know that yoga is not about perfection,
i want it to be perfect.
i am a control freak.
i do not clean.
when ph and i met i told him this tidbit
and informed him that he would have to clean or hire someone.
i am really shy.
this is usually mistaken for other not so nice
characteristics, but it takes me a while to warm up.
i like to watch people.
sometimes too intensely.
i am terrified of being a bad mother.