a foul tale

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

motherhood is not something that you can really prepare for.... sure you buy all the gear and clothes, read the books, take the classes, but nothing prepares you like being in the trenches. and even being in the trenches for the last 8 months does not mean that i have gotten used to changing poop diapers. ( oh yes i am going there). in fact, the more i change them, the more repulsed i am.

you all know that chace has a hard time pooping. i have lamented that fact many times on this blog of mine.   unfortunately, he inherited his mother's bowels. sorry kid. since he started eating food, this has become more of a problem for him. believe me we have tried all the tricks, to no avail. so upon consultation with the dr, he gets 1 teaspoon of miralax in his morning bottle. most days this does the trick, but there are some days that his little system needs more help. so, he gets another teaspoon in the afternoon. we have had to resort to 2x a day twice. yesterday was one of those days. i am keeping my fingers crossed we never have to go there again.

yesterday evening ph had to work late, which meant that i had bath and bed duty. no problem. after dinner, i thought i would use the time to call my bff and catch up while chace was playing. ( i have recently discovered speaker phone and love using it. i apologize if you hate it, but it makes conversing easier when i have two hands free). we were about 15 minutes into the phone conversation when i saw chace leaning forward and then there was the smell. my child is the smelliest baby ever. seriously. ever. no big deal. i am on speaker phone. we will just carry on while i am changing the diaper. i got this i think to myself.

i put chace on the changing table and  pull off his pants. i realize that this was more than a straight forward diaper change. there is poop coming out the side of the diaper. i squirm and mutter to myself. i then inform ash of the task at hand.  at that moment it becomes perfectly clear that i am in over my head. there is poop everywhere. all over his bottom end, up his back, which then gets smeared all over the changing pad, all over his clothes. there are  no amount of wipes that can get this kid clean. i frantically tell ash that he has to go straight to the bath. i will call her later.

i pick up my naked, poopy baby and whisk him upstairs all the while hoping that he doesn't pee on me, adding insult to injury. i put him in the tub before there is water in it because i do not want poop on the bath mat or floor. he thought it was fun to watch the water go in the tub. i am thankful that i have a water  baby.  the task of making my baby clean and sweet smelling is underway when a wave of horror washes over me. i left the diaper, wipes and clothes on the table next to the pack and play. (normally not a big deal, but bailey ate poop diapers over the weekend. so not only i have been cleaning it off my child, i have cleaning it off my dog. ) i can not leave chace in the bath alone. so i just hope against hope that the diaper is where i left it when i go back down.

once chace is cleaned and dressed i go down stairs to assess the damage. good bailey, you left the diaper alone. there is a god. but i still have the changing table to tackle. i grab cleaner, and the towel i just used on chace and went to work. i then promptly put diaper, wipes, towel and onesie in a bag and left it outside the door for ph to dispose of. i wanted to him to see the what he missed out on. he seems to miss out on all the fun.

motherhood does not make own immune to poop or the ick factor that comes with it. i do not know how much more poop i can take. i will be so glad when he is potty trained. but at least i know my right from my left, at least for today.


  1. Since no one else has said it – I can’t resist – shit happens!…;)

  2. OH Dear...My lovely experience happened when my daughter was about 3 months old...(she's 10 months now)...she did the same thing, only in Lowes. No diaper bag with me so I head out to the truck...by then its all over me and her...I get it off and its over all the truck. Ya not fun. Love Parenthood! :)