Wednesday, July 15, 2009

dear andrew,

its your aunt luc. i wanted to write you a letter to let you know that i am officially smitten with you. your uncle jamey has always been crazy about you, from the moment you were born. in fact, the reason you came over for dinner sunday night was because he wanted to see you. don't get me wrong, i have always loved you, but it was not until this weekend that i realized you had stolen my heart.

let me explain. in the days, weeks and even months after cooper died it was hard for me to be around you. in part because you and cooper's newborn pictures were so much alike. you could tell without a doubt that you were cousins. seeing you was a constant reminder of what i lost. it was also difficult to see so much fuss made over you while my heart was breaking. your uncle jamey kept telling me that is wasn't your fault and you didn't understand why i was so sad. i knew in my heart that in time, i could be around you without hurting or being reminded of cooper.

and this weekend, it happened, for the first time there wasn't that all too familiar ache in my heart. maybe it was watching you play in the pond with your uncle jamey, pull the bark off the tree, amuse yourself on the lawn mower, try to pick up the pot of flowers, or the way you posed for the camera that stole my heart. but whatever it was, it happened and i am just smitten.

thank you for being patient with me.

love you lots

aunt luc

1 comment:

  1. A milestone in your healing process, Lucinda. I know you have heard so many times by now, but again, you are not alone in what you have suffered. There was another baby born at the same time as mine. I still remember how hard it was even to look at that baby.
    My heart rejoices in your healing.