tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

** the thermometer read 91 degrees today.

** it seems we skipped spring altogether.

** c and i went to our new pool club today.

** i had a date with my style team at scott miller this evening.

** we changed my color a bit.

** it is super blond.

** as blond as you can get blond.

** i am not sure i like it.

** i was too hungry to make a decision.

** so i am going to sleep on it a few days and see how i feel.

** its only hair.

** ph and i are watching the deadliest catch.

** we love this show.

** ph bought a new car today.

** ok, its not new.

** remember nelson? well its his replacement.

** a 1997 ford ranger "mini" pick up truck.

** i wonder what i am going to name this vehicle?

** ph just said " he is a pretty ugly truck."

** great, just what i wanted. an ugly truck.

** i am going to bed now.

** good night.

a moment

Sunday, May 29, 2011

i cant believe i just.....

Saturday, May 28, 2011

i can not tell you how many times
i have said this to myself
the last several days.

it began when
i let chace sleep in bed
with me in santa fe
because his ears and teeth hurt.

i cant believe i just let my 15 month old sleep in bed with me.

then in the atlanta airport
in the family restroom
chace decided to throw his
beloved duckie into the toilet.

i saved duckie from drowning, 
dried him off
and returned him to his keeper.

i cant believe i just took a lovey out of the toilet and gave it to my son.

thursday, it was warm out.
we were outside
and chace spotted a puddle.
i let him play in it.
he had a a blast.
i am still regretting that decision.

i cant believe i just let my son play in the puddle with his clothes on.

and to be quite honest, i cant believe i just admitted this to you.


Thursday, May 26, 2011

on some level
i knew it would happen.
it was inevitable.
but i was unprepared
to hear a mother say
to her son
"dont climb up the slide, cooper."

i took a deep breath.
i did a double take.
and my heart broke, again.

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

** we leave tomorrow to head home.

** i am keeping my fingers crossed for a day of smooth traveling.

**chace is getting a molar.

** this is a brutal process.

** the past couple of nights he has woken up screaming due to pain.

** he slept in my bed last night.

** he slept, i did not.

** i desperately need a haircut.

** there is a lot of new fabric that i want to own.

** sigh, sigh and sigh.

** talk to you when we return to new york.

an update from santa fe

Sunday, May 22, 2011

we are still in santa fe and
will be until wednesday.
here has what has been going
 on in our world.

chace is still not sleeping well.
both his ears were red and on
their way to infection.
antibiotics is our friend.

he has a new tooth.
i think more are on
their way.
the last time we were here, he got 4 new teeth.

mom and i have been sewing.
well mom has been.
she is teaching me.

we are sewing on her
singer athena 2000 machine.
it is as old as i am .
there are no bells and whistles, but it sews great.

we have made chace
a pair of pants.
and are working
on a blouse for me.

i have been working on
the quilt that was set aside last fall.
i forgot how tedious the blocks are to make.

we have been spending time outside.
enjoying the sunshine.
the pond.
and the fish.

we are having a grand time.
but i miss ph,
my bed,
and the dogs.

sleep interuptus

Thursday, May 19, 2011

most people don't realize
that the elevation in
santa fe is 6800 feet above sea level.

this altitude has been known
to reek havoc on visitors.
common side effects are

shortness of breath,
alcohol goes to your head quicker,
and for some
a hard time sleeping.

i have never had
a hard time sleeping,
probably because
this is home for me.

this has not been the
case for my son.
every time we visit santa fe
chace has a hard time sleeping at night.

and when mama is used
to her son sleeping
12 hours at night without interruption
this altitude side effect is rough.

or maybe it is the
fact that he is beginning to
get an ear infection.

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

** i am enjoying a shiner bock while typing.

** oh how i love shiner bock.

** chace is having a grand time.

** he is loving being outside!

** according to ph, it is cold and rainy at home.

** chace got some new shoes today.

** i can not tell you how happy i am that chace is such a good traveller.

** mom and i are going to have some clothes sewing lessons this week.

** i am also going to work on that baby quilt remake i started last spring.

** there are some great season finale's on tv tonight.

** shows come on so much earlier here, which is nice.

** we are going to make nutella cookies for a dinner party this weekend.

** nutella is one of my new favorite food groups.

** i have been informed chace has a stinky diaper.

** off to change it......

thank you delta

Monday, May 16, 2011

thank you delta
for a very pleasant
day of flying.

you rocked
the customer service.

we are in santa fe
chace is asleep.
sound asleep.

mama is tired.
very tired.
3:45 was way to early.

more tomorrow.
sleep well.
good night.

dear delta #2

Sunday, May 15, 2011

dear delta,
i just want you
to know that i have
been paying attention
to your new ads.

you know the ones
of which i speak.
the ads where you claim
to provide exceptional customer service.

the ads where you claim 
to be best in the business.
the ads where you promise 
to provide an enjoyable travel experience.

tomorrow morning,
my 15 month old son and i 
will board one of your planes
and travel to santa fe for 10 days.

i am hoping that we have 
a pleasant experience.
i hope that you are true to 
your words and provide exceptional service.

my last flight, on a different airline
was horrible.
i distinctly remember saying
how much i loved flying delta.

please, please, please
do not disappoint me.


dear chace

Saturday, May 14, 2011

my dear sweet chace,

didn't i just write you? i don't know where the time goes, before i know it you will be leaving for college, preparing to make your mark on the world. i am not going to get ahead of myself, today you are 15 months old.

you are now sure footed. you can walk just about anywhere you want and on any surface.  you are close to a run. you just have not figured out how to keep your body from getting ahead of your feet. soon. very soon.  the warm weather is finally here and outside is the only place you want to be. you gather rocks, pinecones and sticks. you pick up mulch, touch the trees and smell the flowers. you are your father's child. nothing makes me happier. last night i looked out the window and you both were pulling weeds. it was the most precious thing ever,

you and i took our first solo trip. we met yaya in jamaica and had a wonderful time. you are such a good traveller. i am so grateful that you like to be on the go. you and i leave monday to go to santa fe for 10 days. in jamaica, you wanted to swim on your own so badly. you did not understand that you did not know how to swim. i tried and tried to explain to you that you didn't know how to swim and you kept telling me that you did. you wore yourself out exploring, swimming and playing in the clay.

when asked you can tell us what a sheep, snake, dog and cow say. you still love to read and we read many books on any given day. we need to work on expanding your palette. you would eat mac and cheese 3 times a day if allowed. fruit is still popular, but you want nothing to do with meat. i tried making you a hard boiled egg, you took one sniff and pushed it away. i hope that someday you will be a foodie like your dad and i.

your first acceptance letter arrived in the mail. i hope it is the first of many. you will be attending webster montessori school in the fall. i know this is one of the most important and life changing decisions your dad and i have made as parents.

this afternoon, we were all lying on our bed cuddling. it was the most magical moment. we are the sweetest child. i tried to make you promise that you would stay that way forever, not fair i know. you just threw your head back and laughed.

i never knew that being a parent could bring me such joy. thank you for that gift,

until next month.

love you always


a moment

Friday, May 13, 2011

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

** the weather has been glorious.

** c and i walked to starbucks this morning and then to story time at the library.

** actually, we spent all day outside.

** my face is a little sunburned and wind burned, i think.

** yesterday i made cake batter rice krispie treats.

** they are delicious, but they need more butter.

** they are a little on the dry side.

** good oilcloth is hard to find.

** there are several robins nesting in the back yard.

** i keep seeing them with a mouth full of various nest material.

** we also have a toad living in the pond.

** he suns himself everyday on the rocks.

** i think he needs a name.

** i think toby the toad will work just fine.

** we are super excited for the hangover 2 to start.

** i laugh just thinking about it.

** i am too tired to think of many more tidbits.

** until next week.


Monday, May 9, 2011

today, chace and i met with the director of webster montessori for our official interview.
it went very well.
and i am happy to report that chace was accepted into the program.
once we sign all the paper work, it will be official.

he will start in september.

education is something that i feel very strongly about.
i believe with my whole heart
that it is my job as a parent to give chace the best possible educational foundation
so that he can achieve whatever it is he desires.

i believe that a montessori education 
will provide this foundation.
in a world that is full of technology,
information in sound bites,
and a desire for instant gratification,

i often wonder how much our children are learning?
if we are sucking the imagination out of our children
by overloading them with toys that blink, talk, and sing?
are taking the joy out of learning by having everything at our fingertips?

i want chace to love learning.
the way i loved learning.
i believe that montessori will help foster
his desire to seek knowledge.

one of the things that i noticed when
observing the toddler classroom last week
was the glaring absence of plastic, battery operated toys.
the classroom was filled with the most awesome wooden toys.

and the children were interacting with each other.
they were actively using their imaginations.
they were engaged in the learning process.
i could see there minds at work.

this is what i want for my son.
so, i will be cleaning house.
i will be removing all plastic/ battery operated toys from the house.
we will be a wooden toy only house.

of course there are a few exceptions.
like legos
or cars
and playmobile.

this was not a decision i took lightly
and i know not everyone will agree
but i believe in the montessori way
and that it will help chace soar to unimaginable heights.

musings on motherhood

Sunday, May 8, 2011

** mother's day is mix of the bitter and sweet, happy and sad, tears and laughter. i am a mother of two, but one is not here. it is on days like this, occasions like this that i feel cooper's absence. it tugs at my heart. and then in the same breathe i have such joy watching chace. this is the balance that will be part of my life until the day i die.

** i have fallen in love with motherhood. everyday is an adventure of learning and growing. i love experiencing the world through chace's eyes. it is so much fun.

** motherhood is the hardest thing i have ever done. period. the end.

** i have never been so serious about giving chace every opportunity to grow, learn and be the best he can be. i also thinks this makes me a better parent.

** i realize that the opinions on parenting that i had before becoming a parent were based on, well nothing. my opinions now are based on doing right by my son and what is best for him.

** the love a mother feels for her children is great than anything else on this earth.

** children grow like weeds and the time passes at warp speed.. i am learning to savor the moments because before i know it he will be all grown up.

** wishing you all a happy mother's day!

for mom

Saturday, May 7, 2011

best advice my mother gave me...... pretty is as pretty does. nothing is uglier than a girl with no manners or home training. always write thank you note, by hand. there is always some one who has more than you and someone who has a lot less, be happy with what you have.

favorite childhood memory....traveling as a family. some of  our best family moments were when we were traveling abroad. we still talk about our trips when we get together.

favorite thing to do with mom... sit on the beach, watching the sea, feeling the sun and talking. 

comfortable in my skin

Thursday, May 5, 2011

it took me a long time
to become comfortable in my skin.
like many women, i have struggled
with body image.

more than just thinking i look fat
i have dabbled in binging and then purging
exercised compulsively
and starved my way through europe in college.

what the hell was i thinking?

my clothes have had serious range
over the years.
size 0 to size 10
and every size in between.

but after 38 years
i have, for the most part,
put the body image issues to rest.

sure i have days when
i like the way i look
and days when i cant stand it.

i have come to accept
that having two children
via c-section leaves a permanent pouch.
but at least i dont have a shelf anymore.

so, to celebrate this acceptance
as well as gift ph with a killer
40th birthday present.
i decided to have a "boudoir" photo shoot.

it was an awesome experience.
it was freeing.
it was fun.
it was not nearly as uncomfortable as i thought it would be.

it taught me how far i have come.
and that i dont look so bad in my skin, after all.

here are some of my favorite shots.

a moment

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

tuesday tidbits

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

** the magnolia is in full bloom.

** it is glorious.

** unfortunately, it is not warm out.

** after spending an entire week outside, outside is the only place chace wants to be.

** he doesn't understand that it is 43 outside and raining.

** i realize i talk alot about the weather.

** we have decided that chace will attend montessori school starting in the fall.

** after visiting the school this morning, it is the perfect place for him.

** he still has to have an interview and be accepted, but who wouldnt want him in their school?

**on friday, chace and i are driving to skaneateles to drop some of my lucends goods at a gallery.

** not sure if they will sell or not, guess i have to try.

** i really need to finish a quilt i started this time last year.

** it is bugging me that it is not done yet.

** chace and i leave for santa fe in 10 days.

** looking forward to the time with both my parents.

** and hitting up my favorite places to eat and shop.

** did you know they are coming out with an app for pinterest?

** dangerous.

** i have mixed emotions about bin laden's death.

** there is great duality in such an event.

** i have been thinking about how i will explain it to chace when he is older.

** off to take a bath.

do you wonder?

Monday, May 2, 2011

i can not believe that
two years ago today
we had our sweet cooper's memorial service.

yesterday, ph, chace and i spent
the morning at the arboretum
walking around, reflecting and tending to his garden.

the trees look much different
without all the handmade birds
full of love and hope and healing.

birds made by strangers
who wanted to help
heal the heart of a grieving mama

and bring comfort to little hearts
which need mending
and the families who love them so.

the children's hospital continues
to give cooper birds to each family
the day of their child's heart surgery.

they do not know who made the birds
they do not know our story
what they do know
is that someone is thinking of them
and their child during a most difficult time.

i still have a box of about 100 birds
in my basement.
we will continue to give out birds
until the box is empty.

i am not sure what
will happen after that.
perhaps i will make a plea
for more birds.

i will cross that bridge
when we get there.
for now i am just remembering
our sweet cooper, his short life
and all those birds in the trees.

jamaica in photos

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The river cottage where we stayed

wild orchids

pool at the river cottage

happy boy

counting house

at work in the pottery studio

mama and chace

swim time

at the beach